


Children of Earth

by almost_certain



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Babies, Bellarke, Character Death, Child, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Mild Smut, My First AO3 Post, Not Beta Read, Parenthood, Raised by the 100, ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-18 04:42:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2335727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almost_certain/pseuds/almost_certain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy puts a hand on her shoulder, finally able to relax and spare Clarke a lazy smile. He's going to be an Uncle. It's silly and sentimental. They're hardly in a position to start haphazardly breeding but it's exciting, it's hopeful even. They've just stopped living on a day to day basis, they're making plans for permanent homes and some of the kids, or he supposes young adults now most of them are over eighteen, have even started nesting. It was only a matter of time before someone decided they wanted to take survival of the species to the next level.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He'd been waiting for almost a year for this moment. He'd imagined it so many times, her breaking in to a run as soon as she saw the smoke of the fire over the trees, and wrapping her hands around his neck, teasing him like she hadn't been gone longer than he'd care to mention. This was... Fuck, its nothing like that. Octavia Blake lumbers in, her head hanging low as she walks on tired legs. People are shouting. He's shouting, and before anyone can stop him he's cleared the gate and is scooping his sister up in his arms, heading for the cabin in the center of the new camp.

She's heavy, he thinks but doesn't stop. She's murmuring in to the fabric of his coat but he can't make out most of the words. 'Get Clarke!' He barks at someone, maybe Miller, he doesn't actually look. They run off straight away. When he lays his sister down on the bed, her hands holding on to his shoulders tightly, he notices it. The massive swell of her stomach, the way one hand has stayed there protectively the whole time. Lying down it's more obvious, her dark fur coat not hanging loose from her frame, but he stares as if he could be wrong, shaking hand reaching out to touch her stomach.

'Bell?' She asks, voice high and quivering as tears form in her eyes. 'Bell it hurts. It fucking hurts...'

'Alright, alright.' He's furious. He wants to find Lincoln, drag him in here and when it's all done lock him back up in the rusted open drop ship. Despite himself he keeps his voice calm and steady, hand reaching up to soothe his sister's hair. 'Clarke'll be here soon. How long...'

'It's coming! I wanted to tell you... That's why I'm here but it's coming now!' She screeched. 'It's coming!'

It's not as if he knows what to say, the last time he saw anything like this he was barely six years old, but when he sees Clarke split the curtain that acts as a door, and the concerned faces of a few of the camps inhabitants peep through, he feels his tongue freeze up completely. 'Uh...'He gestures uselessly, eyes wide.

Clarke gives him a small smile before rolling up her sleeves and approaching Octavia. 'Hey O,' She says calmly, beginning to untie the fur cloak that's still covering her patient. 'I need to examine you alright? I need to see what's happening.'

'Clarke, it's not... I should have another month!' She whines, hand gripping her brother's tightly. She screams in pain as her back arches and she tries to turn to the side. 'I'm going to kill Lincoln!' She hisses, trying to sit up.

Bellamy puts a hand on her shoulder, finally able to relax and spare Clarke a lazy smile. He's going to be an Uncle. It's silly and sentimental. They're hardly in a position to start haphazardly breeding but it's exciting, it's hopeful even. They've just stopped living on a day to day basis, they're making plans for permanent homes and some of the kids, or he supposes young adults now most of them are over eighteen, have even started nesting. It was only a matter of time before someone decided they wanted to take survival of the species to the next level.

'You'd have to be the one who gets knocked up first wouldn't you.' He grumbles at his sister as she glares at him from the bed. He hadn't meant it to sound so sharp, he'd meant it as a compliment if anything. They were trying to find their own culture, forge something brand new out of the wreckage of the ark but Octavia had managed to assimilate herself with the grounders seamlessly. He couldn't help but envy her life by the coast (though he'd never tell her, or Clarke, or Spacewalker).

Clarke lays her palms flat across Octavia's round stomach. 'Wow, you're so fat.' She jibes, as Octavia cries again, pinching her brothers hand in hers. 'Uncle Bellamy, I'm going to need to... Examine...' She makes a small gesture with her hands which roughly translates to something a brother shouldn't see.

He nods, looking down at his sister's wide panicked eyes. 'Cute,' he mumbles, shooting Clarke a narrow look. 'I'll wait outside.'

'Tell Monty we need something strong for the pain.' Clarke calls over her shoulder. 'And get someone to bring in some water and clean blankets.'

'Yes princess.' He says in a quiet tone so uncharacteristic of the Bellamy Blake she's come to know she can't help but pause to look back at him.

He emerges to a group of just over twenty, all leaning in and waiting for some explanation. Jasper's practically at the front, eyes fixed on the cabin. Bellamy clears his throat. 'My sister's about to have a baby.' He announces in what he hopes is a strong leader-like voice but is closer to a strained emotional plea. 'I need someone to get some clean water and blankets and someone else to find Monty...'

'I'll get him!' Jasper announces, turning to dash in a flurry of gangly limbs towards the cabin he and the other boy had built.

'Tell him we need painkillers!' Bellamy shouted, heart beating a wild rhythm in his chest.'Strong ones!' The crowd begin to chatter, everyone seeming to beam up at him. Miller claps him on the shoulder, offering a congratulations. Finn pushes Raven up to the cabin where Harper takes over and pushed her inside, struggling a little with the stiff wheels of the makeshift chair. Monty runs through the crowd to the cabin with his arms full of weeds and liquid vials and dives straight through the curtains. He emerges four minutes later with all the colour drained from his face and a look of disgust ingrained on his features. As he passes Bellamy he mutters a promise that he'll 'never do that to anybody ever even if they pay me in moonshine'.

 

Octavia's cries are getting farther apart as the hours wear on, and though he had been back and for he's been banished to the fire for the last few hours. It's anxious work, sitting here picking at his hunting knife, but his mind is kept busy by the though of Lincoln finally coming in to camp. The brotherly talk he'll have with the older man. The one square punch that'll knock his nose just a little out of joint but not do any damage Octavia could actually complain about.

Finn sits off to the side, watching him intently. 'What are you thinking?' He asks once Bellamy finally looks up long enough. 'What?' He frowns at the younger man, fighting the urge to spring to his feet and leave the fire.

'You're taking this awfully well.' Spacewalker explains, leaning forward. 'I thought you'd have grabbed your gun and headed for the Grounders by now...'

'For what?' He huffs, clicking his knuckles as he tries to relax. 'I mean sure, I'm angry. My little sister's in there and the guy who did that to her is nowhere to be found. What good's that to her right now?' He turned to look at the cabin. Suddenly the hairs on his arms, the breath in his throat, the slight hum that had been building in his ears, it all shocked him in to a breathless silence. The fire wasn't crackling, the insects that the ground had so kindly kept alive were't chirping, and the people around camp certainly weren't talking or laughing.

A hand grasps at his elbow but he shakes them off, standing slowly. His feet carry him to the cabin with no prompting, but before he can enter Clarke is at the curtain, bloody hand on his chest pushing him backwards. 'Bellamy', her lips move but no sound, not yet. She shakes him by the collar of his jacket. 'Bell, please.' She tries and this time he hears it, and he looks down at her with eyes red and damp. There's blood all over her, a smear on her jaw, a line on her forehead where she's swept her hair back. 'I did everything I...' He chokes down a sob and lets his hand come up to her shoulders, pushing her back to the side of the cabin. She hits the wood and lets out a little squeak at the impact, tears falling suddenly from her eyes.

'Don't you dare fucking say it.' He growls, grip tightening. She gasps, lips trembling as she tries to mouth an apology that just won't come. A hand works its way up and he has her by the neck. 'Get in there and save her!' He hisses. 'Don't you dare let her die! Don't you fucking dare!'

'It's too late!' She shouts, pushing him back roughly. 'She's gone Bell. It happened so fast...' He stares at her, jaw tense as he sucks in ragged breaths.

'She's gone...' He repeats with a snarl, and for a second Clarke looks terrified. It takes her a moment but she straightens herself up, wiping away a tear and holding a hand to her neck. He looks down at his hand and swallows. 'The baby?'

She gestures to the cabin and he looks, before realising she was telling him to listen. A soft cry is bathing the camp, the chilling tune of a child with no mother.

'Do you want to see her?' Clarke asked with barely a whisper. He shakes his head, holding up his hands to her and backing away from the cabin. He needs to be gone. He needs to run far enough that he can't hear a thing. He never can.

 

Bellamy woke up to the familiar press of someone against his chest. A hand came up to gather her hair, the other stroking down the small of her back as he looked in to her face. 'I need you to move.' He stated flatly.

The red head groaned and shifted enough so he could get up but she didn't open her eyes. Good, he thought. That made the whole thing simpler. The camp, something solid now, with cabins build to last, not just to survive the winter, had a strange vibe to it in the crisp October mornings. The sky was a light blue but stars still shone bright as anything up there. Birds flew and crowed in and around the treeline but stayed away from the ground for another hour or so. The water in the well would be freezing cold, and just like every day he made a beeline for it, grabbing the bucket and rope from the side and all but throwing it down to splash loudly.

The sudden loss of silence made him look around, his teeth chattering in the early morning air. He hadn't worn his jacket across to Leila's. He didn't see the point. She'd come down with the ark and had a nice collection of thick blankets with her. He wouldn't need a jacket for the walks to and from her cabin. He needed one then, he realised, scooping water in to his hands and sipping it.

It's funny how water tastes different, he thought, depending on where it was from. Water on the ark had been purified so many times it had this clinical chlorine taste to it. This water barely tasted of anything. It was cold and hard on his throat but it wasn't unpleasant like it had been up there. It wasn't a waste of rations to drink it. A hand tugged on his elbow and he spun around, expecting to fine Leila or at a stretch Miller or whoever was on guard duty that night. Instead, Clarke looked up at him with tired blue eyes, lips twitching in to a smile. The child was in her arms, head over her shoulder and legs wrapped around her ribs as she snored gently in to her curly hair. 'What are you doing awake?' She whispered.

'What are you doing with her?' Bellamy whispered, putting a hand to his nieces back to stroke as Clarke rocked her gently back and for. 'Raven's been struggling lately so I offered to take her for the night but...' She lowered her voice. 'She just wouldn't get to sleep. I've been walking her around for ages and now she's gone and I'm not tired.' She sighed, looking at the profile of the sleeping little girl.

'Then put her to bed.' He frowned, reaching to take her from Clarke's grasp. He held the little girl against his chest, looking down at her with an expression that Clarke found impossible to read. 'Yours?' He asked her, and Clarke nodded. 'Be right back princess.' He shot off towards the cabin he knew to be Clarke's, child in tow, returning a few moments later without her. 'All tucked in.' He sighed, stopping in front of her. 'How long were you walking around with her?'

'About thirty minuets.' Clarke shrugged, stifling a yawn. 'You know what it's like.' She smiled. 'Hmm, try it when you only have a few feet to walk her around in.' He looked back towards the well. 'You shouldn't be babysitting Princess. You need to be wide awake for tomorrow...'

'Just me?' She raised an eyebrow. 'And I don't mind it once in a while.' She looked towards her cabin. 'She has a name Bellamy. Would you like to hear it?' She asked him most nights, whenever she caught him and their conversation settled on this tiny child-sized remnant of his family.

His answer was usually the same. 'Not tonight.'

She nodded and sat down by the fire, hands combing through her hair. 'Let me know if you change your mind.'


	2. Teach a Girl to Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a little argument and a month of avoiding each other there are some reconciliations made on a hunting trip.

Meetings with Abby and Kane had quickly become more frequent and less important. They turn up around dawn, him gripping his rifle tightly and her with a med kit hanging at her hip. Some times they bring others, a few parents who wanted to meet up with their offspring and share stories of their survival or some people who had heard the delinquents had actually managed to build cabins and a med center out of wood and not rusty old metal. That day they were alone.

Bellamy smirks and nudges Clarke with his elbow. 'Good.' He whispers, voice low in his chest. 'Means he'll agree to spar with me...'

'You're such a child.' Clarke smirks back, looking up at him through a few strands of untamed bed hair. 'A grown man should know better.'

'He's older than me.' There is a humor to his pout as his dark eyes soften. It disappeared as soon as Abigail Griffin cleared her throat. 'Mrs. Griffin. Kane.' He gives a little half bow, face a mask of seriousness again. 'Trust your journey was safe?' 

Kane raises a hand in a sloppy salute. 'Someone wouldn't wait until day break.' 

'She never does.' Clarke smiles brightly, reaching out for her mother's hands and clasping them tight in her own. 

'Our people won't wake for a while yet.' Bellamy gestures to the streaks of pink hanging just above the horizon. 'Time for breakfast if you like. We caught a deer yesterday morning and there's still some meat left over.'

'Meat?' Abby smiles, grasping him by the forearm. 'All we've had for weeks is hard vegetables and jerky.'

Kane eyes the younger man with a raised eyebrow. 'How many heads did this deer have, Mr. Blake?' 

Bellamy beams with pride. 'One, councilman. Just one.'

'Six legs though,' Clarke adds, laughing as Bellamy shoots her an unimpressed look. 'What?' 

'It was a deer of normal proportions.' He says slowly, hand running through his hair in a futile attempt to smooth it back. 

They've almost finished breakfast when the cabin opening flutters and a little girl with black hair and olive skin teeters in on unsteady legs. She rubs her eyes with her fists, barely awake but obviously not going back to bed without a fight. 

Bellamy's heart almost stops. She has a habit, this little girl, of reaching for him. She'll climb on to his lap and not say anything until she's awake enough to scamper down and move on to Clarke or Raven. Of course if Jasper is there she'll miss her uncle out completely, but he isn't so he accepts her weight with a small sigh. She buries her head in the crook of his neck and pulls at his shirt with her tiny little hands. Her feet are freezing, and he's told Clarke enough times to make sure she wears her socks to bed but here she is, trying to dig them under his shirt. 

Abby's gaze leaves her daughter and scans over the child, her lips turning down at the edges. 'Is she eating enough?' 

'Eats more than most of us.' Clarke shrugs. 'She's just... Tiny.' 

'Maybe she needs more protein.' Kane offers, taking another bite out of his bread, the meat already finished. 

'We all need more protein.' Abby shakes her head at him. 'She's just worryingly small for a four year old.'

'It's...' He swallows, hand smoothing down the little girl's back. 'It's a family thing. We were all small children.' His mouth twists up in to a small forced smile. 'Helped with the lack of space.' 

'Don't worry.' Clarke tells her mother, reaching for a cup of lukewarm tea she'd been neglecting. 'I've been monitoring her all these years. If anything was wrong I'd know...'

'If you're concerned you can give her a check up yourself.' Bellamy offers, feeling the little girls grasp on his shirt tighten. 'Though I'm not promising she won't kick you in the stomach again...'

'Bellamy.' Clarke frowns. 'Don't encourage...'

'She doesn't listen to me anyway.' He frowns straight back over the little girl's shoulder. 'Barely sees me.'

'Not this again.' Clarke huffs, folding her arms over her chest and straightening her back. 'She listens to you. She worships you! You won't even look at her...'

'She doesn't like me.' He shrugs, standing with her clutched to his chest. 'And it's fine. I can't fuck around playing the parent. I have things to do. We have a camp to run, people to feed...'

'You're a one man army!' She hisses, reaching to take his niece before he can dump her on Clarke's lap. 'I don't have to do any of these things do I? Don't have to sort out every broken bone, ever minor cut that some idiot hasn't bothered to see me about for weeks?'

The transfer is far from seamless and they continue to fight all the way through, detaching her limbs from Bellamy's neck and making sure she's secure in Clarke's grasp before he backs away. 

'But no, you're right. You have to hunt and patrol and keep your energy up so you can slip from someone else's tent every night...'

'It's hardly every night Princess.' He rolls his eyes. 'And I've never seen anyone slipping from yours in the early hours of the morning.'

The sarcasm silences her, and mouth agape she turns to her mother. 'Do you see what he's like? Do you see what I'm up against?'

Abby and Kane share a look that is completely lost on the youngsters as they continue to bicker and growl at each other regardless of the little girl between them. 'Clarke,' Abby says eventually, voice cutting off the rabble of hushed curses and accusations. 

'What?' Clarke asks, eyebrows arching up severely. 

The little girl lets out a sniff and they both look down at her. Her brown eyes are fixed on his, and her little face is a parody of anger. Tears make her eyes glisten but don't fall, just sit there threatening to. 'Get out.' She commands, voice trembling but also too strong for a four year old of her stature. It makes him smile, remember Octavia when she would boss him around as a child. As a young woman even. 'Go on!' She shouts, staring him down.

He bows to her, turning to face Kane. 'If you've finished...'

'I have.' Kane nods, standing. He gives Abby's hand a small squeeze before following Bellamy Blake from the cabin, making sure to fix the curtain so the two - or should he say three - women have as much privacy as he can afford. 

Bellamy doesn't turn back but he can't help a smile break through his face when he hears Clarke shout 'I fucking hate him sometimes!' and her mother reply 'Watch your language Clake!'

* * *

 

It's December when they speak Civilly again, and just before dawn he and a few others are wrapping themselves up in furs and checking their weapons. She doesn't say anything at first, just sidles up next to him and waits for him to notice. 

'No.' He says without turning around, instead looking up at Miller who's shivering in his white coat. 

She purses her lips and takes a shaky breath. 'I need some supplies...'

'Then send Monty.' He snatches up his hunting knife and tucks it in to his belt. 'He know what he's looking for.'

'He's sick. Ask Jasper.' She pushes him around with more force than he'd expected and he's staring down at her as if he just might fight back. 'I need some herbs, a bit of seaweed. Nothing out of your way, just things you'll come across anyway.'

'And Jasper couldn't get them for you?' He nods his head to the young man who's currently fighting with the sleeves of his jacket. 

'Bellamy, I'll be honest...' She sighs, breath clouding between their faces. She looks tired, shadows under her light blue eyes and a sharpness to her features he doesn't like. 'I need to get out of here, just for a bit. Just to clear my head. It just so happens you're going out and I need some things.'

He opens his mouth to argue but she quickly presses a hand to his mouth, smiling as his eyes bulge. 

'Don't say no, because if you say no I'll go alone. And then you won't even be able to keep an eye on me.' 

He snatches her hand away, his own warmer, heating her up from her arm to her stomach. His breath is heavy, tickling the tiny hairs of her neck as he leans forward to speak in to her ear. 'I don't care but if you think we're slowing down for you...'

She snatches her wrist back, shoving him back a few paces. 'Please,' she snorts, walking around him and standing by Miller, holding herself taller and avoiding his eye line. She has her hair wrapped up in a messy bun, and tucked in to the collar of her dark fur coat. She rubs her hands together steadily, breathing on them as she and his second make easy conversation. Anger burns low in his gut but it passes quickly. He's glad of her company, if he's honest. It's a nice change of pace from the no nonsense back and forth of the hunting party (Jasper excluded but he's never been one for the old boys clubs), and he's been meaning to smooth things over with his co leader for a while. 

Finn offers him a canteen and he takes it, tucking it in to his pocket. 'Are you coming today?'

'Raven's insisting I get out of camp.' He smiles sheepishly. 'Thinks I'm turning myself in to a martyr for her legs.' 

Bellamy nods. 'A lot of us think that.' He's in no mood to sugar coat it. It's good to see Spacewalker out of his cabin with a blade in his hand and the fire reflecting in his eyes. He's been dragging his heels in the mud for months. 'She's more capable than you give her credit for.' He turns back towards Clarke. 'And if she hasn't forgiven you for all that by now...'

'She wants children.' He admits, and the older man stiffens next to him. 'But I'm pretty sure she can't... I mean she feels stuff, but the bullet's still in there. It could... I want to ask Clarke but I don't want to know for certain that we can't...' 

Bellamy isn't surprised. Raven has been his niece's chief carer since she was born, telling her stories and teaching her simple tricks and skills. Not to mention, two girls are about to have children of their own and a few babies have already been born to the Ark survivors. He's been panic stricken for weeks trying to think about the changes he'd have to make to the camp, the extra food they would have to bring in, the classes they'd have to put together to keep their youngsters alive and safe. They'd need something more stable than the flimsy peace they held with the surrounding groups (it turns out making up for wiping out more than half of a clan is harder than a sorry and some gifted moonshine). Growth and roots needed a bit more effort than clinging to a simple survival. 

He looks across to the blonde woman he's spent the past month avoiding. She's laughing with Miller, offering him a pair of fingerless gloves that someone at the Ark camp managed to knit together from old wool. 'Do you want to be a father? Do you want to bring someone in to this world as it is?' 

Finn shifts from foot to foot, humming as he thinks about it. His floppy hair hangs down over his eyes and his mouth quirks as if to speak but no sound comes out until a final decisive grunt. He nods. 

'Then talk to her.'

'I want to make it better, Bellamy.' He says softly, meeting the older man's gaze with determined eyes. 'We're almost there and I've been putting this off until we work out the final kinks but we can't put it off forever. There has to be a point where we start moving forward.' 

Clarke turns to look at him, a reassuring smile forming before she can remind herself to keep it away. He smiles back, letting a little bit of tension he hadn't realised he was holding drop from his shoulders. 'Why do I feel like you're asking my permission?' 

Finn grins. 'I kind of am, man.' He shrugs and tucks his own knife in to his belt. 'Not for this, I mean. We'll do this if Clarke gives us the go ahead, but diplomacy...'

'Fuck, Spacewalker. Don't you ever get tired of trying...'

'If we want to keep everyone safe... Keep our children safe. Don't pretend you haven't been kept awake worrying about what's going to happen if they come and take her away.' 

Her. There's no need to clarify. It's not that Bellamy doesn't know her name. He's just never let Clarke tell him, or anyone say it to him. The little girl herself doesn't speak to him unless she's looking for someone else, and she refers to him as 'You', or 'Blake.' It's funny, he thinks she enjoys it a bit, bossing him around. She know that he loves her, he'd like to think, but right now he can't say if he's 100% sure on the matter. 

He doesn't pretend, just tries to read Clarke's face as her eyes flit from him to Finn. She excuses herself from Miller and walks back towards them, breath still drifting from her lips in a light white fog in the crisp winter air. There's a frost on the ground but no snow yet. There are some clouds on the horizon that look heavy with promise though, and a little part of him can't wait for it. Snow brings something strange to the camp, a carefree fun that hasn't existed for most of the year. It brings alcohol to share and warm broth and fun. 

Clarke's nose is as pink as her cheeks as she stands before them, still blowing on her hands and rubbing them together. 'Everything alright?' She asks, smiling up at Finn who nods quickly. 

'We'd need to teach them. We should teach her to hunt.' Bellamy says, nostrils flaring. 'Really we won't be here forever, and if they don't have anything to do then they'll get in to trouble...'

'You want to teach children to hunt?' Finn frowned.

Clarke made a noise somewhere between a gasp and a 'huh'. 'Who are we talking about?'

'Not yet.' He shrugged. 'But when she's a bit older. We look after her now but what if we can't one day, what if something happens. Give a girl a fish...'

'But teach a girl to hunt?' Clarke raises an eyebrow. 'I'd have thought you'd want us all back slaving away over your dinners?'

He laughs, reaching up to smooth his hair back. 'Hardly. I'm just saying, that specific girl needs to be educated soon. Needs to know what it takes to survive out here.'

'She's part grounder.' Finn chimes in, though he regrets it instantly. 'Part Blake. She'll be a quick learner I'm sure.'

Clarke's eyes soften as she searches Bellamy's. 'We'll have two more soon. She'll have less attention...'

'She doesn't need constant supervision.' Bellamy huffs. 'But she needs to know what's safe and what's not. What to do when she's in trouble.'

Harper and Jasper walk over, hand in hand and smiling like the teenagers they were not so long ago. 'Are we going hunting or are we just waiting outside for the sun to come up?' She asks, raising an eyebrow at the three of them.

'We're going hunting.' Bellamy grunts, looking down at Clarke again. 'And when we come back Spacewalker needs to have a talk with you about his impending fatherhood.' 

'Raven's pregnant?' Jasper squeaks, grin stretching to an almost impossible length. 

'No!' Finn barks, then looks around the eerily quiet camp and lowers his voice. 'No she's not but... But we... We want to start trying.'

Trying, Bellamy thinks, as if they haven't been trying and just not calling it that for years. 

'Oh.' Clarke frowns at the floor, cogs in her head turning visibly, he thinks. 'Well I don't see why not. I'll have a look when we get back, see if she's... Uh... See about it. And my mother can keep tabs on her too. To be honest she'd probably want you over with her but... But I don't see why you couldn't.' 

'I thought nothing from here down worked?' Harper whispered to Jasper, who nudged her quickly with his elbow. 

Finn frowned. 'It works just fine, she just can't walk.'  

'Reyes, a mother.' Bellamy shrugs. 'Congratulations Finn.'

'We're not...' He sighs, looking across to Clarke. 'Not yet.' 

'No time like the present.' Clarke quirks, wiggling an eyebrow at him. 'Get in there, soldier.'

'Hey.' Bellamy points at her halfheartedly. 'Who's in charge of this hunting party Princess?'

She mock salutes, teeth chattering slightly. 'You are, sir!' 

'Or you would be,' Miller points out, jaw clenched. 'If we were actually hunting already!' 

* * *

 

Clarke kneels slowly behind the gnarled tree trunk of a bare oak. Her breath is coming out in steady little bursts but it's taking all of her concentration to keep it quiet. The hare is huge, it's ears sticking up a good meter off the ground. Less human interference had at least provided them with larger wildlife. For all her complaints lack of fur and meat weren't one of them, since most of the animals around here didn't have the good sense to avoid them either. 

Someone brushes up to her left arm, and she starts, surprised to find that in her struggle to keep her breaths even she hadn't noticed Bellamy sneak up on her. He mumbles a 'Good job Princess,' and gives her arm a squeeze before taking his knife from his belt. 

Her head is too close to his and she can barely move it as he measures the distance, calculates the throw. Her legs are aching and she feels as if she might crumble, but success is a moment away, it's a held breath and it's a suppressed urge to fall in to him. She has her eyes shut tight when she feels him sigh on her cheek and opens them. 

He's looking at her as if he's furious, eyes a darker shade of brown as he holds his knife above his head. 'Move back.' He whispers, leaning slightly closer.

She shivers. 'If I move back, I'll fall.' Her heart is thumping against her rib cage and it's all she can do not to grasp at his shoulders. 

'If you don't move back I'll miss.' He swallows, adams apple dipping under the collar of his coat. 

'Just...' She squeaks, breath hitching as she almost slips backwards and his hand comes down to steady her, pressing in to the small of her back. She can feel it burning her through the furs. 'Just pretend I'm not here.' She finishes.

He lets out a sigh and lowers her to the ground with a thud before turning and throwing. The knife misses it's mark, embedding itself in to a tree just off to the right, but the hare's long gone anyway. A slight echo of it's jumps leads back into the trees. 

It's a relief, she thinks, her heart all but stopping before she sucks in a loud breath and lets herself relax. She can move now, get away from the musky smell of his skin, the deep rhythm of his breathing and the soft locks of hair handing against her forehead. 'I'm sorry.' She mutters as he lets himself slump down in front of her, head hanging lower still. 'I was going to... But I couldn't get in to a steady position and...'

'It's fine.' He mumbles, and his voice at her ear makes her skin vibrate. It sends a ripple through her, from her neck to her toes. 'I didn't mean to get distracted I just...' He swallows, eyes hardening as he looks up at her. 'You drive me crazy.' He hisses.

She frowns. 'I do?' She hadn't expected that. She'd expected something along the lines of an apology. 'What about you? You think you're easy to like?' 

'I think I'm easy to tolerate but you... You're a pain in the ass whether we want you there or not!' 

'I'm just trying to make this easier for you!' She shouts, giving up on the pretense of keeping themselves quiet. 'Walking around like the king with the world on his shoulders instead of enjoying what we have!'

'What do we have Princess? Some knocked up teenagers and wood cabins? A regular Empire we are!' 

'You're right, and you definitely don't have a family...'

'No I fucking don't.' He growls. 'My sister is dead. My best friend. I have this little girl who looks a bit like her and a bit like Lincoln and I have you. Is that a family?' 

She brings up her hand and slaps him so fast that he's knocked to the side, landing awkwardly on one knee. Before he can register it she's on her knees pulling him down for a hug, her lips pressing in to his curls. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' She murmurs. 'But I think we are. I think we're a family. I can't do this alone.' 

She's crying, he realises as he lets his head sink further in to her neck. Tears are running down the side of her face and on to his, down his neck with warm little trails. 'You don't have to.' He soothes, pulling back to look at her. 'I'm just... This is an adjustment. We're not taking care of a bunch of delinquent kids anymore... We're taking care of actual children. It's terrifying.'

She laughs, eyes glistening in the cold afternoon. Snow has begun to fall as they've been talking, tiny little flakes melting on their skin and clinging to their coats. She looks like a viking, he thinks, kneeling there in the undergrowth with her pale skin and light eyes. Her hair pulled back in to a bun to keep it out of the way. There's a scratch on her knuckles that's bleeding but there are more on his, so he doesn't say anything, just takes her hand and runs his thumb softly over it. 

'I know, right? Do you know the numbers for infant mortality rates way back when?' She shakes her head. 'It's terrifying.'

'Not to mention we'll have to make peace. Proper peace, not some paper thin treaty.' He holds his forehead to hers, sighing softly and closing his eyes. 'We've been... I've been dragging my heels but if we're doing this we need to do it. We need to talk to your mother and Kane and do what we can to make this work.' 

'Let Finn and Raven in on it too. They're our unofficial seconds after all.' He raises and eyebrow and she adds 'At the whole diplomacy thing anyway.' 

He nods. 'It might be time to think about catching live animals, keeping them at camp and breeding them. We can build some enclosures.'

'In spring we can try and trade for some crops.' There's a smile on her face as she pictures it, a thriving village rather than a camp. 

He presses a kiss just above her eyebrow before standing up and offering her his hand. She lets out something close to a whine but takes it and lets him haul her to her feet. She brushes the snow from her coat, shivering as she does. 'We should get back before the snow gets too heavy.' She nods her head in the direction she thinks camp is in. 

'We should get you a compass.' He smirks. 'It's this way. Come on.' He leads the way, smile stuck to his lips as they trudge back, finding Miller, Jasper, Harper and a smug Finn (who had caught enough alone to make up for Clarke and Bellamy's blunder tenfold) along the way. 

'So do you think you'll have a girl or a boy?' Jasper asked Finn as they walked, his hand lazily wrapped around Harper's waist. 

'I don't know.' Finn sighed. 'What about you two? Don't you want kids?'

Harper laughed. 'Not unless Jasper's the one having them.'

'Even science has it's limitations dear.' He shook his head. 'And you'd let me ruin this perfect figure?' At the gates he pushed a kiss to Harper's head and stepped back from the group, leaving his two small rabbits with his girlfriend. 'Monty's been working on a new batch ladies and gents, I dare say it'll be done soon but don't wait up for me because it needs some testing.'

Miller followed cautiously after handing off his spoils to Bellamy. 'And two testers are better than one.' He shrugs, walking backwards towards Monty's tent. 

'Right, we'll just sort this out ourselves.' Bellamy laughs, heading towards the meat cabin. 'And now there's blood on my coat.'

'Man up your majesty.' Clarke chuckles. 

'Cute.' He sighs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I will change the title for it is not at all relevant until the last chapter. Now the problem is I'm bad with titles.
> 
> And alright, I'll get this finished over the next few days as soon as I've proofread it enough that I'm sick of it. I hope that's okay, I don't want to annoy anyone with constant posting but I kind of just have it as a whole so... 
> 
> Let me know what you think so far please.
> 
> I miss Octavia :(


	3. Keeping the Peace

No one is sure who starts the fight or what it's actually about. One minute Clarke's telling Bellamy that she needs help drawing up demands for their next meeting with the Northern Grounders and the next he and Finn are on the ground, swinging fists at each other as hard as they can. 

Jasper is there but he gets knocked back before he can make a real difference. He charges back and this time Monroe, Miller and Clarke are there too, pulling them apart and looking around. 

Raven's sitting outside her tent, son perched on her chest but otherwise uninterested. 'What the fuck's going on?' She asks Finn, holding the child closer to her and shifting in her seat. Her eyes rest on Clarke for as long as it takes for her to shrug and turn to Bellamy.

'You're guess', he wiped at his bottom lip, smearing a small amount of blood across his chin. 'Is as good as mine. What the fuck Spacewalker?'

'I was almost shot by a Grounder Bellamy!' He hissed, trying to break through the hold Miller and Monroe had on him. 'Me and Jasper were almost shot! You said you'd sort something out!' 

'Finn!' Clarke shouted, turning from Bellamy to the young father and taking his hand. 'Hey, we're doing out best here...'

'I'm a father now Clarke!' He took a measured breath. 'I need to know we're safe!'

'No Grounder would attack us now?' Bellamy retorted, trying to push passed Jasper only to be hauled back by Clarke's grip on his wrist. 'They're starting to trust us. It's peace, just like you want it Spacewalker...'

'Go float yourself Bellamy!' He snarls.

'Finn!' Raven snaps, and in her arms their son starts to cry. 'Calm down. We've been at most of those meetings. If any of the Grounders in the area had reason to attack it would have nothing to do with Bellamy.'

At her voice and the little gargles that passes as the new born's cry, the fight leaves Finn. He lets his head droop and hands unfurl from the tightly wound fists he'd held them in. 

'Were you in uncharted territory?' Clarke asks softly. 

Jasper shook his head. 'Not too far from here. Closer to the old camp though.' 

Bellamy spat in the dirt, probing the side of his face to check the damage. 'Miller, fancy checking it out?' 

'I'll come.' Clarke turns to face him, expression clear that there's no room for argument. 'With so many at the Ark we can't spare another gunman.'

Miller tenses but nods to Clarke. 'Alright,' he sighs. 'I'll keep watch here.' 

Bellamy's mouth twists up. 'Jasper...'

'I'll show you.' Jasper nods, releasing his grip on Bellamy's arm. 

'No you won't.' He cuts in. 'Stay here and keep an eye on camp. If anyone has any problems you do what you can. Just don't amputate any limbs until we get back.'

'You're going just the two of you?' Monroe asked, scratching the back of her head. 

Clarke smiled. 'I'll keep him safe.' She rubbed some imagined dust from her knees. 'Plus I'm dying to get out of camp.' 

'Who am I to give orders, Princess.' He frowns. 'Just don't slow me down.' 

'Don't... Don't you slow me down.' She responds, blinking at her own loss of words. 

He laughed. 'But, If he's right and it really is dangerous out there you shouldn't come.' He looked at Finn who seemed to still be fighting with himself not to hit Bellamy. Something inside of him breaks, a tiny bit of resolve that's been forcing him to act like the bigger man. He takes her by the wrist and pulls her towards the weapons cabin. 'Come on Princess, no time to lose.' 

'Wait!' She snatches her hand back, running to keep up with him. 'Let me look you over first...'

'It's a fight, Princess. People get in those, remember.' Especially over pretty girls, he thinks. 

He throws open the door and almost trips when the small girl dashes out of the darkness, wrapping her arms around his legs. 'Are they?' She wails. 'Are they going to kill us?' 

He look around, hands hanging uselessly above her head as he eyeballs Finn. 'No.' He whispers. 'No they aren't going to kill us.' Slowly a hand comes to rest on her shoulder and he can feel her burying her head in to his stomach. 'And they won't touch you, I promise.' 

Finn's back with Raven, looking on with a sadness in his eyes as he strokes his son's head and kisses his wife's nose.

'We're not fighting anymore.' Clarke reassures her, walking around in front of Bellamy and hugging the girl from behind. She kneels down next to her and he fights the urge to do the same. Instead he looks down at the two girls, a strange emotion welling up in his chest. 

'We're keeping the peace.' He nods.

She straightens up and wipes her eyes on her dirty sleeve. It's warmer now, he should sew her a dress he thinks. Something she can wear to get some colour back in her face. The winter's long gone and they're still all so pale. 'Okay.' She nods. 'Then can I come with you Uncle Bellamy?' 

He laughs, dropping down then so they are at eye level. 'No, it's still too dangerous. But soon, when you're big enough and I teach you how to hold that thing you've got hidden behind your back...' She blushes and Clarke smiles as she lifts up her shirt and removes a blunt little knife that she'd been trying to hide. 'I'll take you out okay? We'll go hunting outside the walls.'

'Really?' 

'Really.' He nods, feeling his heart swell as she hugs him again. Clarke stands and offers him the knife which he takes and slips in to his pocket. 'Now go and see if Jasper needs any help. Tell him we said you're in charge.' 

She gives Clarke's hips a quick squeeze before dashing off to the dark wooden cabin the boys still shared.

Clarke smiles up at him, opening the door to the weapon's hut but he doesn't follow. 'Actually, I should go alone.' He swallows. 'I'm not putting you in danger just to try and get a rise out of S... Finn.'

She raises an eyebrow. 'Is that what you were doing? I thought you were letting me get my own way...'

'For all the wrong reasons.' He finishes.

She shrugs easily and steps further inside. 'The result is the same. I'm coming Bellamy. End of story.' She picks up a rifle and slings it over her shoulder. 'Plus, I had a very good teacher so I know how to use this thing.' 

He took another from the side and lined up a shot at the ceiling before swinging it around his back. 

* * *

They were making good time, or at least he assumed they were. The old camp wasn't far now, and though they had found a few arrows around the area Jasper had told them they would there was no sign of anyone else. 'So what's the deal Princess?' He asked as they crept quietly through the trees. 'You're always looking to get me alone.'

She scoffed. 'Am not.' 

'Yes you are. There's always something you need help with, or something you need space from.' 

'We lead very busy lives.' She shook her head, scanning the trees off to their left with her rifle scope. 'Have you ever known a grounder to miss three shots?' She asks, trying to change the subject. 

'No.' He holds his gun to his chest, eyes scanning the surrounding area. What had been a funny implication moments before suddenly clicked in to place in his head. 'So am I imagining this or is there something between us princess?' 

She frowns, not turning to look at him. 'You're imagining it.' 

'That's a shame.' He smirks. 'Got yourself a guy back at the Ark?' 

She sighs. 'Does there have to be someone before you'll believe I have no feelings for you?' This isn't the first time they've had the conversation. At least three times since the first ''wedding'' they've had similar talks. 'Beyond the mutually beneficial friendship.' 

He makes a decision then to straighten up and look at her, grabbing her gun and dropping it lightly to the ground. 'Look, just... Give me a second.' He swallows. 'I need you to talk to me for a moment with no... No bullshit.' His voice is lower than usual, threatening almost, and his eyes leave no room for argument.

Mutely she nods at him, mouth hanging slightly open. 

'Because you're always around, and we've been doing this together for years but lately it feels different. Like you don't want to strangle me every time you look at me. Like you trust me...'

'I've trusted you for a long time.' She shrugs. 'And I know you still think you're irredeemable, but have you seen what you've done here?'

'A lot of people are dead because of me Clarke.' He growls, gritting his teeth. His skin creases around his eyes as he glares but hers remains smooth as silk, her face passive. 'A few buildings and a treaty or two don't wipe that away.' 

'Kane's as guilty as you.' She says so quietly he almost misses it. 'And he doesn't wallow in it. He's making up for it...'

'I was selfish. I was stupid.' He turns away, taking two steps towards a rather large grey barked tree before turning back and sighing. 'I acted like a child and it killed people. For who? For Octavia? I didn't care about you!' 

'Then why, when you were going to run, did you teach me how to shoot or tell me to keep Miller close? Why did you keep so many of us alive in the first place if you're a murderer?' Her voice is desperate to her own ears so she lowers her tone again. 'Why did you catch my hand?' 

He looks as if he might scream at her, fists clenching at his sides. 'Clarke that was years ago... It doesn't change the fact...'

'You're right, you acted like a child. You were scared, and you should have been because if things were different maybe they would have come down and floated you. Fuck, most of us!' She grabbed his chin with her hand and forced him to look at her. His eyes danced defiantly over her features as he looked down, breaths erratic and hot on her face. 'But if you think we're the same people that fell out of that drop ship and fought a fucking war you're... You're dead wrong!' She let his chin go and he grunted, holding her gaze. 'We're not kids anymore. We're not one hundred and one, and we're not just surviving until the adults come down and sort us out. We're done. We're the adults. And we...' She gestured between them. 'We're still in this together so please don't give me this 'blood on my hands' routine again Bellamy Blake because I've had enough of it.'

The silence stretches out between them, broadening the gap between their faces which could be inches or could be miles. Her breathing is all he can hear, though he can feel a heartbeat that might be his own in every vein of his body. It's steady, it's loud, and it's rushing in to his ears, it's making his stomach tense and his fingers twitch. He's leaning forward, careful to do it fluidly though he worries it comes off a bit stiff as he stops half way looking her in the eye again. Clarke Griffin looks furious, her hair somehow already wild around her face, her eyes clear and bright as they bore in to his. He looks down at her lips, and she wets them without thinking, holding the bottom between her teeth. 

'Fuck it.' He states in a low shaky voice, but his heart only jumps in his chest and he doesn't move. 

'Fuck it?' She breathes. 

He grabs her, one hand fixing at her hip and the other on her neck. He pulls her closer and kisses her. It's messy and desperate, she opens her mouth too wide at first and their teeth clash once or twice but when he lifts her towards him and she grabs at his shoulders, pulling at the fabric of his T-shirt so hard it stretches it seems to work itself out. Her hands are in his hair, on his skin, pulling at cloth to get to more of him, and his are under her jacket trying to pry the damn thing off. She helps him, throwing it to the forest floor before yanking him down by his hair to kiss her again. They move backwards until she's pushed up against a thin tree, struggling to rest against it. 

It's not graceful when she tries to push back and they tumble, landing on their sides with a shared 'oof', but then they're laughing and it all slows down. She's stroking his chest and placing soft kisses to the line of his jaw, down his neck and across his clavicle. When she pulls at his shirt he sits up and lets her, eyes heavy as he watches her watching him. Her pale hand draws a line straight down, stopping at the soft black hairs that grow under his belly button. He snatches her wrist and pulls her to him, unbuttoning the flannel shirt she wears with shaking fingers. He kisses her neck, her chest, her stomach, her ribs, her face and her lips and there's no method or order to it. He kisses her until she holds his face to hers with one hand and with the other she tries to unbutton his jeans. He pushes her hand away and does it for her, then he yanks at hers and she's shimmying out of them, clambering on top of him once one leg is free. 

He lifts her, his hands digging in to the flesh of her thighs. He holds her there, looking in to her eyes in a sudden moment of silence. There's time to think here, time to change their minds. They each stare at each other expecting the other to protest, daring the other to stop it, but they don't and it's time. With a shuddered breath he lowers her down, aligning them with his free hand. 

She sucks in a breath, eyes clamping shut as she feels him. He's good at this, he reminds himself, he knows what he's doing, he knows what to say. He's usually a litany of sweet nothings in their ears, little shouts of encouragement or taunts or prompts. All he can manage now though are little grunts and throaty moans, sharp breaths at her ear in between kisses. She's not much better, mouth stuck in a surprised gasp as little squeaks leave her lips. She's holding his head to her neck, digging her nails in to his shoulders as she moves desperately over him. His hands are hard on her hips, helping her with her rhythm. The heat of his skin against her has her squirming against his hold, bringing her head down to his for another searing kiss.

He sits up, bringing his mouth to her chest, pulling at the fabric of her bra. His hand comes between them and she lets out a moan that makes him burn hotter still. It's not clean, the way he's touching her. It's cheating if anything. If there was time he wouldn't mind the slow build up, the different positions and the experimental touches that make getting to know a new partner so fulfilling. This isn't the first time with a sure thing though, this is him and Clarke fucking on the forest floor. It's a mistake, a desperate act of two people who've been forced to work together for too long. They're covered in dirt and they smell like the earth.

She says his name over and over, whispering it in to his mouth, and he realises they've stopped. She's spent above him, her limbs shaking as she holds on to his strong frame. The dappled sunlight filters through the trees, and he again becomes aware of her features, tracing them with a shaking hand as if it's the first time he's seen her. Her own fingertips, soft and light against his skin, trace the freckles that line his face, the curve of his lips and the corner of his eyes. He kisses her gently, a chaste kiss to the edge of her lips. They move apart, Clarke rolling on to her back beside him, chests heaving towards the forest canopy above them. 

'Did you...' She looks at him, eyelids heavy over the pale blue irises. 'You know.'

'Yeah.' He brings up a hand to cover his eyes. 'I didn't think.'

'Well neither did I.' She sighs, burying her head in the warm skin of his shoulder. 

He puts his arm around her and pulls her closer, pressing a kiss to her crown. 'Well Princess,' he chuckles. 'That was...'

'Oh shut up Bell.' She murmurs. 'Just breathe.'

He does as he's told, holding her close until her own breaths settle in to a soft lullaby and he could almost fall asleep. It's then, with her shivering beside him, the sweat on their bodies now chilled in the air, that he nudges her and meets her eyes. 'We should go.' He whispers, sad smile playing at his lips. 'They'll wonder where we are.' 

'Hmm.' She nods, hand tightening around his arm before she lets him go completely. They dress as quickly as they can, not looking at each other until they're both fully clothed (awkward given how far he'd thrown her shirt). 'One button.' She announces when he finally looks at her. She holds out the bottom of her shirt. 'That's the only casualty.' 

'Sorry.' He sighs. 'If you can find it I can fix it?' 

'How could I find it?' She laughs, looking around at the dark undergrowth that surrounded them. 'Don't worry Blake, I won't miss one button.' 

They continue on to the dropship, and at some point her hand is in his and he grips it tighter than he means to. Neither really pay attention to the guns at their sides, and when asked later they would swear he'd come out of nowhere, but the truth was if they hadn't been so wrapped up in each other they probably would have seen Murphy long before he pressed his gun to the back of Clarke's head and pushed them inside the dropship.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I haven't written anything this... smutty I suppose, in years. Like genuine years. Like since I was a teenager. 
> 
> So yeah, read through it a few times to get as many mistakes as I could but you know how these things go. I'll get the next chapter up tomorrow and then it should be a few days until the next (because I don't just do stuff in my spare time, I obsess).
> 
> Let me know what you think folks. :]


	4. Lovers for an afternoon

There's an uneasy silence as they look at each other across the sun lit dust trails of the drop ship. Murphy has been tying them down for almost ten minutes, muttering to himself as he goes. Clarke was simply tacked to one of the seats with some old cloth but he's taking time over Bellamy, tightening and every once in a while stopping to dig his elbow in to his ribs or stomach. 

Eventually he steps back, looking down at his old ruler, the old king. And he is old too. If they were counting in days and not seasons he'd have to be almost thirty. He doesn't quite look it, bound and gagged with his eyes wide and fixed on Clarke. Murphy does. He's a mess of matted hair, scars and dirt. Wild eyes and a cruel hard line to his mouth. 

'Well I knew you'd come, king Bellamy. Knew you'd march straight out to meet the danger. Never dreamt you'd bring the princess with you.' His mouth twists in to a grin. He's lost teeth to the Earth, to isolation. 'Imagine my surprise when I spied you rutting on the forest floor. Oh if I'd planned it I couldn't have done any better.'

'Murphy!' Clarke bellows, struggling against the cloth at her wrists. 'What? you think they'll just leave us? that Finn and the others...'

'No, but you won't be here when they get here. Sorry to disappoint', he moves away from Bellamy, crossing the space like a cat, his legs unsteady at the knees. 'but this isn't some personal revenge I've been dreaming of for a decade.' He leans in close and his breath falls on to her face in hot waves. She holds his eye contact. 'Do you think they've forgiven you? That all the clans have forgotten you just fell out of the sky, took their land and killed their people?'

She struggles again and quite suddenly his fist collides with the side of her head. Bellamy almost dislocates his wrist trying to pull away from the wall. 

'Well I won't deny I'm glad it's me they came to. A little personal revenge is never a bad thing is it? Hell, I wish I could string you up sire, but they want you alive. They want to make an example.' He stops, brain ticking over with a sudden realisation. 'But they don't want her.' He grabs Clarke's hair, forcing her to look up, to look at Bellamy. The anger in his eyes edged with concern almost breaks her heart. 'I could string her up, hang her from the piping and make you watch.'

He's going to break something if he carries on, she thinks. The restraints are stronger than his bones. 

Murphy's hand comes to rest on her breast and she jerks back, only for him to pull her by the thighs closer to him. He isn't looking at Bellamy now, just looming over here forcing his way between her thighs and licking his thin, chapped lips. 'Been out here a while on my own though. And your performance this afternoon reminded me what I've been missing.' He looks over his shoulder ar Bellamy, who's now frozen solid in place. 'What do you think? Is she good enough to spare? Hanging her a waste?'

She tries to smile as their eyes meet, but finds herself whimpering instead. 

'No? Ah well, I'll hold out then, get myself a grounder...'

'Do you think they trust you?' She spits, writhing to get away from him.

'Please.' He steps away from her. 'Look at me! I'm more grounder than anything now. Doesn't matter where I came from.' 

Footsteps outside steal their attention, and Clarke wastes no time in delivering a boot to Murphy's knee. He crumples, smiling manically as he falls, nostrils flaring.

A booming voice from the doorway startles him. 'Do you now know how to keep prisoners in line?' It asked. 

The man is huge, a good foot taller than Bellamy and wider at the shoulders than anyone at camp. His face is painted with little swirls  that claw up his cheek towards his eyes and the shock of almost white hair that rests on his head. 'Like some lessons?'

'Like some payment.' Murphy laughs, standing. 'You alone?'

'Two more outside. Who's the girl.'

Murphy eyes Clarke and for a moment she fears he might not say, might try and keep her, but he just smiles and nudges his head towards Bellamy. 'His partner. His lover even.'

'The healer?'

'The very same.'

'The General will be pleased with you. He'll send another with a bonus.'

The man takes a little box from his pocket and heads towards Bellamy. 'We'll mark them. If they get loose everyone will know they are ours. They won't risk war to help them.' From the box he pulls a needle and a little pot of ink. Bellamy meets his eyes defiantly. 

The mans huge hands pull at the sleeve of his jacket, pulling it down until enough of his wrist is bare that he can begin. The needle plucks at his skin, pushing the ink underneath in a blur of dots and blood. Bellamy doesn't even breathe but across from him Clarke is screaming. His hand is numb, his back is taught and his heart beats so wildly in his chest he worries it might stop.

When the man is finished he stands, wiping the needle against his trouser leg as he crosses to lean over Clarke. His hand tears her shirt from her shoulder, ripping it and letting it hang low over her chest. He brushes the skin of her collar bone and grunts, dipping the needle in the ink again. She wriggles but his other hand holds her down by the shoulder, and he's plucking at the skin before she can think. 

Murphy leans back against the wall, smiling off in to the middle distance. Bellamy curses every missed opportunity to kill him, listening to Clarke and banishing him, letting him back in to spread a plague. He curses himself for the whole situation in the first place. Who had he been, an overexcited little boy with a gun, to hold someone's life and death in his hands. He'd thought about Murphy a lot, the guilt he felt sometimes, what he made him do, it weighs like stone in his gut. Not now though, now he's reminded that he hates him, that Charlotte died because of him, that everyone hated him enough to want to string him up, that he had shot Raven, tried to hang him, and then had the audacity to survive this long, to come back and start again when life was almost so perfect. 

Far from perfect, just better. Easier. he'd let himself relax and now they were in trouble. Now she could die, he could. They'd be publicly strung up by some grudge holding grounders. Or worse.

He finally shook the gag loose, gasping as air replaced the foul fabric, 'We haven't...' Murphy's there too fast, clamping a hand over his mouth so he bites, then kicks and thrashes. A muscle in his stomach pops and burns but he keeps struggling. 'We've been nothing but sorry! All we do these days is...' A knife Imbeds itself in his thigh and he jerks away, voice breaking as pain clouds is mind. 'Talk peace!'

'Talking peace is all well and good,' the man shakes his head, brushing his fingertips over Clarke's new tattoo. 'Does is bring back our dead?'

'Does it bring back ours?' Clarke hisses and he spares her a small chuckle. 

'She has fight. I see why you two lead. He may even spare you...'

'Fuck you!' She grunts, and his smile fades. He hits her hard and Bellamy roars. 

Two gunshots echo around the metal of the drop ship, and Bellamy's heart stops. They're inside in a second, Miller and Jasper, guns aimed at the large man and Murphy, who's gun points to Bellamy.

'So shoot me, you'll die before you can shoot anyone else.' Bellamy snarls. 

'Don't Murphy.' Miller warns. 

Murphy looks lost for a second, like he might throw his rifle down and start to cry, but instead he stand up straight and tightens his grip. 

'Put it down or I'll blow his br...'

Jasper's bullet hits him in the neck, sending blood spraying on to Bellamy's face. He notices that, the spray, but not the burning in his shoulder, not until Clarke's untied and asking him if he's okay, if he can move and if he can feel it. His hand cups her face and he finds himself grinning. 'Well Princess. We got to be lovers for an afternoon.' Then he's been pulled to his feet and slung over Miller's shoulder, blood rushing from his own to Millers white shirt. 

* * *

Monty watches Harper with thinly veiled suspicion. She's been spending more time with the youngest Blake lately, even braiding her hair and helping her pick flowers. This girl that his best friend once described as low hanging fruit had quickly become a constant in their lives, a crutch. He couldn't imagine her not there. 

He'd worried, naturally, that he and his best friend would drift apart when Jasper had finally got his head out of his ass and started seeing the girl. That hadn't happened at all. She gave them space, she spoke to Monty as if she were his friend first and his friends girlfriend second. She brought them together. 

Harper, he realised a while ago, was his friend. He'd be lying if he didn't say he thought of her as a bit more sometimes, when Jasper was being a particularly idiotic version of himself and he thought she deserved a bit more. 

'I want one.' She announces as Olivia runs off to find Raven. 'Do you think it's stupid?' 

'No.' He smiles. 'I think it's natural.'

She shakes her head. 'I don't think Jasper does.'

'He doesn't know he wants food until someone puts it in his hand.' He laughs. 'Ask him.'

'Its a big thing. I don't even know...'

'Monty!' Jasper skids around the corner of the cabin, chest heaving as he grabs his friends shoulder. 'Take Clarke the medical grade moonshine and any painkillers you have. Bellamy's been shot.'

'Shot?' Harper jumps to her feet, just as Jasper pulls her in for a rough kiss. 

'I love you.' He mutters, pulling back. 

Monty ducks inside, ignoring the, jealousy? Something unpleasant anyway, that rises at the back of his throat. 

'Whats going on?' She frowns. 'Should I get Olivia?'

'No. Keep her away if you can. He's going to be fine but better not to worry her.'

She nods and heads towards Raven's cabin, tapping lightly on the wood before stepping inside. Raven and Finn are sitting with Olivia Blake, who is excitedly explaining which flowers are which in the bunch she has for them. 'Monty says this one helps you last longer, but he won't tell me at what.' She hears her say and Raven laughs.

'Harper,' Finn frowns, reading her expression. 

'Clarke'll be needing you.' She smiles briefly. 'I'll watch the kids.'

Raven wastes no time, putting the flowers down on the rickety side table and gesturing for Finn to move. 'Ben's upstairs, he should be asleep for at least an hour but if we aren't back...'

'I'll bring him to you.' Harper nods. 'O will help me out anyway, won't you?'

The little girl throws her a toothy grin. 'Yup.' She beams. 

'Be good' Finn smiles, pushing Raven towards the door. 

* * *

 

Bellamy grinds his teeth. There are something's he can't stomach anymore, and being confined to his bedroom while Clarke Finn and Raven try to work out a defence plan is one of them. 'It's just my shoulder,' he grunts at the woman checking his wound. 'I can go outside...'

'You lost a lot of blood.' 

'I've lost a lot of patience.' He grumbles. 

She smiles, eyes softening as a hand runs over his shoulder, down his arm and across the tattoo. 'Still sore?'

'Yeah.' He swallows. 'Yours?'

She nods, letting his arm drop and brushing his hair out of his eyes. 'Can you just give it a few days for me? Stop being the fearless leader for once and let me take care of you?'

He watches her, taking in the dark circles under her eyes, the way her hair hasn't been properly brushed for a few days. He sucks in a breath and then says it, though not quite the way he had meant to. 'Sleep with me?'

'Wow Blake, what an offer...' She laughed, moving to leave only to have his hand grip around her wrist. 

'Now, I mean. Stay here, talk to me. Forget out there for a minute.'

She nods, walking around to the other side of the bed and kicking off her shoes. 'You need anything?' 

'Just you' He whispers, closing his eyes as she climbs on to the bed and shimmies under the furs.

They don't speak at all, just drift off, not so much as looking at each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always feel really sorry for Murhpy :(


	5. Cutting to the chase

Raven grimaces as Clarke pushed against her leg. 'I can feel you know. It fucking hurts!'

The healer sighed, lowering her foot back down to the floor. 'Sorry, I got a little bit carried away.' She crossed the room and reached for a jug of water, pouring some in to a tin cup and downing what she could. 'My mind...'

Raven nodded. 'It's exactly where mine is?' She offered, smiling knowingly. 'They've only been gone a day Clarke.'

'He shouldn't have gone at all. His shoulders still healing, he needs to change the dressing and someone out there wants him dead!' She ran a hand through her hair. 'Finn still thinks we can negotiate a peace with someone who tried to kidnap him and string him up!' She sat down beside the other woman, hands shaking as she offered her the cup. 'No offence, but he's mad.'

'Not mad.' Raven shook her head. 'Just idealistic.'

'Difference being?' 

'Very little at this point.'

Clarke chuckled, leaning to lie back on the bed. 'At least they have Kane with them.'

'He'll have them back in no time, just you watch.

* * *

 

It's almost a month later that they walk, or should she say ride back in to town. They aren't alone, a few grounders are with them, diplomats sent to settle and represent their people. They provided the horses, Bellamy explains to everyone watching. 'Show them to the guest cabin and have them settled in. Then tonight, let's honour them the way only we can!' 

There's a roar from the crowd and the grounders laugh, dismounting and mingling with the crowd. Bellamy scans the faces of those around him smiling when a small hand tugs on his foot at the other side of the horse and he turns. His niece glares at him. She's tall now, almost eight, and with a pretty red bow in her hair she looks just like his sister. Clarke is standing behind her, lips pressed in to a weak smile. 

'My two favourite girls.' He grins, jumping down. 

'Where've you been?' Olivia huffs. 'You didn't tell me you were going?'

He sighs, looking at Clarke to answer but she only shrugs her shoulders. Looking back to the girl he stoops to her level. 'I didn't think you cared that much M'lady.'

'It upset Clarke! And Finn wasn't here! So Raven was upset...'

'I'm sorry.' He nods. 'I won't take them again without your permission.'

'Good.' Turning on her heel she runs for Finn, who picks her up and spun her around. 

Clarke frowns. 'She thinks you hate her. She worships you, wants to be just like her uncle and you just palm her off to someone else.'

He shakes his head and rubs the edges of his eyes. 'That why you're pissed with me Princess? Or do you want to cut to the chase because I haven't eaten since yesterday and I'm tired as hell.' He pushes past her, heading for his cabin. She follows at his heels. 'What is it Clarke? Seaweed running low? Guns missing, someone else is pregnant?'

She rushed in front of him, forcing herself through his doorway and stopping his entrance. She looks like she might bite him, teeth bared in a growl, but he simply lowers his face and fixes his jaw as they stare at each other. They haven't really been this close since he started walking around again, haven't acknowledged that the whole ordeal with Murphy had highlighted exactly why this was a bad idea. They already had too many weaknesses, and they couldn't be together and both continue to lead. It was impractical, stupid. It put emotional needs above their duty. 

'Get inside.' She commands eventually, disappearing through the doorway of the dank cabin. 

He takes a breath, looks around at the few blank faces - Raven, Monty, Miller -that saw the exchange and dips inside, making sure to close the door behind him. She's standing a few feet away, quickly taking off her jacket, her shirt, undoing the tie in her hair.

'What are you...'

'Cutting to the chase.' She says in a voice so low he can't even consider disobeying her intentions.

She unhooks her bra and let's it drop, letting him look for a moment, take in the pale skin and the heavy shadows that can't be chased away by candle light. Her fingers un zip the button of her jeans and just before she can pull off her underwear his hands stop her. 

'What do you want?' He hisses, hands digging in to her wrists. 

She frowns up at him. 'Romance and a house with six children.' She mocks. 'I want you right now, and then I'm going to shout at you. I'm going to shout at you for three days solid so you decide right now...'

He lets her go, shrugging off his own jacket and pulling His T-shirt over his head. He kisses her savagely, it's the only way to describe it, she thinks. His hands are all over her, hot and sticky and bruising her. He lifts her and forces her up on to the makeshift map desk he Has in the centre of the cabin. She falls backwards and he drops his own jeans, pulling off her pants and entering her before she can make a sound. 

'Couldn't find anyone else Princess?' He gloats as she bites her own knuckles. 

She whimpers and he slows, but her heels push in to his back and he picks up the pace again. It isn't like the time before, it's selfish, he thinks. 

She stops abruptly, pushing him away and despite the force he manages to stop and move away, cold air covering him. He stands there, panting until she sits up properly, head hanging down. 'Just stop.' She whispers and he realises she's crying. 'I thought this would make me feel better but...' She laughs bitterly And hops down, knees shaking, to gather up her clothes. 

He tries to stop her, hand catching on skin and clothing but she just pulls away, and once she's mostly dressed she heads for the door, leaving him standing there, her name on the tip of his tongue.

* * *

 

The festivities are loud and everyone who isn't on child watch is up to their eyeballs in alcohol. They still call it moonshine, but the truth is Monty's habit has become something so much more. There are ales, spirits, fruity things that should probably be served in coconuts, but most of all there's enough for everyone. 

Abby, Kane and a few others from the ark are there. They've brought sweets and meat but most remain sober and guarded. They don't trust the grounders, not after Clarke and Bellamy's near miss. The two council members though waste no time in indulging. They dance to the jumpy music of some salvaged records, and they kiss like there's no grey in their hair or pain in their joints. 

Clarke sits with Bellamy and their new entourage of rough wolf skinned men and beautiful knife wielding women. They make light conversation and encourage their guests to partake, but do not so much as look at each other if they don't have to. 

She notices, when a glimmer of light from the torch catches his wrist, that the mark from their short imprisonment has been drawn over, replaced with a thick band of black that circles his arm, a permanent bracelet. Slightly wounded, she reaches up and touches the mark on her own chest, biting on her lip. 

'It's a slavers mark.' He answers a question she didn't ask. 'Verona suggested I cover it up with a leather strap but Finch,' he points to one of the grounders who is busy sweet talking Monroe. 'He suggested something more permanent.'

She nods, not looking up. 'I should have mine covered.' 

'He'll do it for you.' He holds his breath, watching as Monty and Jasper tried to arm wrestle off in the distance. 'Do you know, Princess, I thought you were dead for a while. Not just you, everyone. Me and Finn came back and everyone's up and gone.'

She looks at him then, shaking her head. 'We thought you were too.'

'He couldn't decide who to talk about more, Raven or you. We went to the sea and couldn't stay. Found you and... And for ages I still thought you were dead.' He swallows, holding her gaze. 'Thought I'd cracked up and maybe Finn was dead too. Maybe I was in hell.' 

'Bellamy...'

'Then Octavia... I don't like losing people Clarke.'

'No one does!' She laughs. 'But you can't just not have anything to lose. It doesn't make it better. It just drags it out. Makes you realise you should have done more.' She takes a deep breath and looks back to the party. 'Olivia thinks you hate her.'

'She doesn't need me.'

'So you'll just ignore her? You said you'd take her hunting.'

'Finn's practically her father...'

'Because you don't look at her. You tuck her in if she's asleep and you talk her down when she's scared but she goes days without so much as a word from you, her only family!' 

'I'm getting a drink.' He announces, standing and heading towards the boys at the back of the crowd, all cheering on Raven as she defeats Miller. 

Monty's smile gives way to something else and he pokes Bellamy in the shoulder. 'Oi, Blake. What's going on with you and lady Clarke?'

Miller laughs. 'Yeah, is the "will they won't they" finally over?'

'It has landed on "won't"' He refills his cup, chugging down the burning clear liquid as he looks back over to their seats. She's not there, instead dancing with one of the grounders, Marcus. A chill runs down his spine. 

'So,' Spacewalker grins, leaning against the older man. 'If he just whisked her away now you'd have nothing to say on the matter?' 

'Nothing.' Bellamy Blake lies. 

Jasper shakes his head. 'Man, I thought you were better than that.'

'Better than what?' He refills his cup again. 

'The wounded drunk,' Raven chirps up, pushing herself up so she is standing awkwardly on her thin and brittle legs! Glaring at him. 'The anti-hero who'd rather suffer than get the girl.'

'She's cured!' Jasper bellows, spreading his arms wide and howling at the sky. Monty joins him. 

'Reyes, you should sit down.' He smirks.

'I'm always sat down,' she pouts as Finn catches her under the arm and lifts her in to his arms. He spins with her until she's laughing and kissing his neck. 

Abby tugs on his elbow and he turns around, caught unawares by her bright, drunken smile. 'Bellamy, where's my daughter?'

'Uh... Dancing?'

'Then where should you be?'

Raven detaches herself from Finn's mouth long enough to ramble, 'We've been telling him, Mrs G...'

'Are. You seriously suggesting your daughter and I...'

Kane appears beside her with two glasses of something pink. 'Two Love Punches and there are berries in this that... They just go down so perfectly.'

'Nice to see you having fun sir,' Bellamy shakes his head. 'I'll be... I'm going.'

Finn deposits Raven back in her chair and catches up to Bellamy, walking with him through the crowd. 'Bellamy, I'm sorry about Octavia but...'

'What?' 

'You have to move on.'

'Finn, someone out there is trying to kill us. Now's not the time.'

'When's the time? When we're dead?' He turns and melts back in to the crowd, leaving the leader to his thoughts. 

* * *

 

Clarke doesn't really think about it until Marcus, with his sharp blue eyes and light features, leans forward to kiss her, but she supposes he is the opposite of Bellamy in every way. His kiss is slow, soft, and she doesn't like it, but she tries to forget about that. When someone pulls him away and she hears a thump she shakes her head clear.

Bellamy's standing there, shaking with a barely contained rage as he looks down at the grounder. The music stops and the other diplomats rush through to them, staring at Bellamy as though he is mad. Clarke wraps a hand around his arm. 'Calm down!' She urges him. 'What are you doing? Calm down.'

Finch is the first to start laughing, holding in to his ribs as if they might split open. 'You don't go around kissing other men's women Marcus!'

A small chuckle went up around them as the blushing grounder climbed to his feet. 'I'm sorry' Marcus offered out a hand. 'I am a bit... Drunk. Can you forgive me?' The question is more to Clarke than him but both of them shake his hand anyway.

Finch shakes his head and walks off to refind Monroe. The others. Nudge Marcus in the ribs and pull him after them. 

'What are you doing?' Clarke pushes him. 'You could have started a war.'

He stormed off towards his cabin, her trailing behind as she ranted about his recklessness, his presumptuous ness, his smug face. At his doorway he spins and grabs her by the hips, kissing her with enough force to make her gasp. 'I was jealous as hell and I'd like to do terrible things to you.' He kissed at her neck, hand reaching up to smooth over her breasts. Pulling back, he adds 'And surely starting a war for someone is romantic.'

'You want to be romantic?' She pushes him away.

'Yes. But I don't want six children.'

'What?' She asks, earlier conversation forgotten, and he kisses her again. This time she lets him pull her inside.


	6. Explosive

No one knows about Miller and Monroe until a very public break up rocks the village. Her shrieks are deafening, his shouts and threats too. The usually calm and collected pair are desperately trying to inflict as much pain as possible with nothing but their angry voices. 

'Did you know?' Clarke asks Raven, holding the wriggling bundle of almost toddler so Raven could fiddle with a radio.

'Nope. Monroe been with that grounder I thought. Finch?'

'No, he said she had stopped it. Told Bellamy it was going really well but she just... Stopped it.'

'For Miller?' Raven looks up, frowning at the pair who are now pushing each other. 

'Guess so.'

'...And sure, you don't want anyone to know but you fuck that little blonde from the lake and you don't stop bragging...'

'People assumed! I didn't sleep with any grounder!' He snarls. 

Monroe pushes him again, and finally Harper and Bellamy move to get her, pulling her away from the red faced Miller. 

Bellamy looks them over. 'Do you two want to continue this somewhere else? Winter is coming and you're distracting everyone.'

'Permission to leave the walls?' Miller pants, looking at Bellamy with his face a mask of calm. 

Bellamy looks at him for a moment, weighing up his own response. Beneath his hand he feels Monroe tense. 'For what purpose?' He says slowly, trying to calm everyone while still keeping the commanding edge. 

'Hunting...'

'I'm a better hunter than you!' Monroe steps back, smiling. 'I want out. You stay here.'

Clarke steps forward, holding Ben tight to her chest. 'Bell, some of the girls are dying to get out. I need some herbs that grow by the hot springs. Two days walk...'

'No.' He says automatically before turning to look at her. Last time they'd spoken they'd fought about something, about rations or medicine or who needed the blanket more. 'I can't spare anyone but if they volunteer to go with you and Monroe... Calm down Miller, plenty to do and I need you here.'

Raven pushes her way over, looking up at her obviously tired son. 'I'd say hell yes to the hot springs but I've almost cracked the radios, so as fun as it would be to limp slash crawl the entire way...'

'I'll go.' Harper nods. 'It'll be fun.'

'Fun.' Bellamy grumbles. 'Another gunner and you're aloud to have a bit of fun.'

'Really?' Miller frowns. 

'Echo?' A girl at the back asks her friend and they both join the group, rifles in hand. 'I'm Scott.'

'Arkers?' Raven asks. 

'Not for at least a year but I suppose.' Echo nods. 

Bellamy walks across to Clarke and takes Ben, handing the baby to Raven. 'Between Kane and myself, they'll shoot better than you Princess.' He smirks. 'Be back in four days. Jasper and Monty can handle the small stuff until then.'

She smiles. 'Before we go we should run over the plans,' cheeks glowing.

'what plans?' He frowns.

'The... Contingency plans... The maps and rest stops.'

'Harper knows it back to front.' He shrugs, tiny smile playing on his lips. 'You can still get most of the day in Clarke.'

'You seem pretty eager to get me gone...' 

'Don't you want to go? I go all the time. You go.'

* * *

 Clarke couldn't believe it. They had been walking for hours and only now she was able to relax, reluctantly accepting that Bellamy wasn't about to burst through the trees and demand she return. She would have been relieved, but before she knew it she was thinking through every possible reason he would want her gone. 

Harper whined about Jasper and gushed about Monty. Echo blushed and buried her head in her rough green autumn scarf. Behind her Scott held her rifle at her chest, and Monroe just kicked at rocks unlucky enough to find themselves under her toes. They walked like that, a slow leisurely pace with no life or death cause drawing them back or pushing them forward. They stopped before the sun had even touched the horizon, setting up a camp of two tents for three and a fire at the middle. Clarke didn't protest, the whole point was distance from the structure of the village, and although she was clearly in charge she wouldn't pull rank on Monroe for trusting her. For treating her as more a friend than an authority figure. 

'I just... I love him but... Jasper is... He's fine. He's great...'

'Harper, go ahead. He's not here and we won't tell him.' Scott says as she takes a bite out of some hard bread. 

'I know it's really strange but, there's this passion with Monty...'

Clarke stifles a laugh. 'Passion...'

'Yeah! See, you think it's stupid.' she toys with her braid. 

'Do you and Jasper fight?' Monroe asks, leaning back against a tree trunk and resting her gun on her lap. 'Because me and Finch never fought - that grounder was the sweetest I've ever seen a guy, but every day I'd fight with Miller over orders, equipment, trainees, my technique... We'd spar and fight and hunt and one day his stupid hat kept distracting me, kept sitting on his head all wrong, begging me to take it and fucking burn it!' She smiles at the fire, eye lids drooping at the memory. 'So... Four hours later we get back to camp and we have to explain to Bellamy why we're late and why we haven't caught anything.' 

Echo giggles softly next to Scott, eyes meeting Clarke's and making her feel slightly warmer. 

'But Bellamy just takes one look at us and the fury just drops. He shakes his head and tells us if we do it again he'll castrate Miller.'

'I never fought with Finn. I mean I know it wasn't for long and he and raven fight all the time but he was nice when we first got here. He teased and usually agreed with me, helped me find medicine, and just... He cheered me up. He made me feel human after all that time in the skybox but here I am almost fifteen years later and I'm with Bellamy. Someone I hate more than I like. I mean I love him but god, he can be irritating. He's stubborn and over protective to the point it can be suffocating... But then he lets shit like this happen. Let's us wander in to the wilderness on a whim and maybe he's sick of me.' 

'Hah, sick of you? You really think so?'

'He's usually so... When he lost Octavia...'

'But you aren't her Clarke.' Harper smiles. 'He grew up knowing he needed to protect his sister, needed to keep her hidden and safe. You're exactly what he needs, and I think he's just finally realised that he doesn't have to coddle you all the time. He's trusting you maybe?'

'And when are you two having the big celebration anyway?' Monroe asks.

'Right after you and Miller.' Clarke smiles, sipping at her canteen. 'What was that argument about anyway?'

Monroe thinks for a minute, hand coming up to rub her chin. 'You know I have no idea.'

* * *

 

 

He steadies himself, looking up at the far off stars. They look different on Earth. No matter the time since the drop ship was launched - he had shot Jaha and appointed himself king of everyone on Earth - the difference still amazed him. The clouds rolled across the black and calmed him, making shapes from water vapor. The atmosphere gave them a flow, a river of blue and shining silver that trailed across the sky. Aside from the fire they were the only light here, unless the moon was full and tonight it's not. Tonight it's a little black hole in the mural. 

Jasper drops his gun on the ground and slumps down beside him, offering a cup of clear liquid. 'A penny for your thoughts.' He slurs, having already celebrated the end of his shift with a few gulps. 

'The stars.' He shrugs. 'The grounders. The fact someone still wants us dead and I sent Clarke out there just to prove I'm not the ass hole she thinks I am...' 

'Drink, then think.' Jasper held up his own metal cup, and they pinged them together.

Out of the darkness Miller emerged, holding his own rifle across his stomach tightly. His hat was low over his brow, casting dark shadows over his eyes. 'Finished your shifts?' 

'No I just thought we could slack off today.' Bellamy mocks, lifting his cup to his lips. It burns but they're so used to it now they all manage to clear their cups without so much as a splutter. 

Jasper jumps to his feet and high fives Monty, pulling him in to a hug as he reaches them. 'Pull up a seat.' He instructs his friend, who is carrying a large clay bottle. 

'Yes, so many seats.' Monty frowns. 'Shouldn't you all be pacing or whining or celebrating your independence or something?' 

'What independence?' Miller frowns.

Monty shrugs. 'I guess getting Monroe out of your hair... your hat, would be a good thing.'

'Go float yourself.' 

'What's up with that anyway?' Jasper drawls, reaching for the bottle to refill his cup. 'I thought you were with that arker.'

Miller shifts, taking a cup from Monty. 'No, once or twice but like nothing special. Me and Monroe though...'

'Explosive?' Bellamy smirks. 

'Like a fucking atom bomb.' He frowns. 'And I don't even know how it started. One minute we're fighting, we're arguing over who's fault it is we can't catch anything and she's pushing me and I'm pushing her and next thing you know.' He shrugs, sipping. 'Of course we had to face you,' he points to Bellamy, 'When we got back four hours later than we should have.'

'Yeah, I remember.' 

'You didn't tell any of us.' Monty frowns. 

Bellamy smirks.

'Me and Harper don't fight.' Jasper grumbles. 'It's just like, friendly. We're friends. We're friends and we hold hands and we... We don't... You know... Do anything.'

Bellamy watches as Monty looks away, his eyes fixed on his own hand around his cup. 

'We haven't for ages. And I love her but I don't think I like this whole thing... I don't think I like being with her...' He leans back so he is looking up at the sky.

'Then don't be.' Miller frowns. 'No point being miserable.' 

'What's wrong with her?' Monty almost spits.

Jasper shrugs. 'Nothing. She's fine.' He sits back up, shaking his head. 'But I feel better now she's gone. I shouldn't feel like that should I?'

Bellamy shrugs. 'I feel... It's weird, I know Clarke needs space, and I do. We've been at each other's throats so much recently, but I'm not good at letting things go. I feel useless. I let her go because I was angry at her, frustrated with her, and what if something goes wrong?' 

Miller chuckles. 'Man, I love you but you are fucking intense. Clarke's a big girl, and those girls can out shoot some of us.' He sips. 'Monroe can out shoot me, just don't fucking tell her I said that.' 

'You're so smitten.' Monty snorts. 'You're fucking smitten.'

'No I'm not.' He replies sharply. 'But she's alright, as these things go...'

'These things.' Bellamy laughs, voice rumbling in his chest. 'I shouldn't have let them go.' 

'Oh shut up.' Jasper sighs. 'If you hadn't it would have just dragged on. Become a bigger argument than we needed. But things were so much easier when people weren't together like this. I mean when do we see Finn these days if he's not carrying a baby. Or Raven. I miss Raven. All she does is have babies and then Finn looks after them...'

'One. She has one baby.' Miller laughs. 'And she'd be here right now if she wasn't rewiring the radio because someone dropped it on the floor.'

Jasper shakes his head. 'It was already broken so I don't see why everyone's so upset over that.' 

'Because now we can't talk to the Ark without trekking to the ark site, you genius.' Bellamy grunted. 'Or Luna, or the northern tribe or the...'

'Right fearless leader, I got it.' 

'When are they coming back anyway?' Monty asks, pouring himself another drink. '

'It's been what, four days?' Miller shrugs. 'Shouldn't be long.' 

'They should be back.' Bellamy whispers. 'What's taking them so long?'

A twig snapping draws all their attention up to a dark figure off to the right. Finn steps in to the light, arms folded and eyes drooping with tiredness. 'What are you guys doing?' 

'Drinking.' Monty frowns. 'Why?' 

He shrugs. 

'Join us Space walker. You're a married man, perhaps you can shed some light on the mysterious ways of women.' 

Bellamy laughs again. 'He's married to Raven. We'd be better off asking her...'

'Oh fuck you Bellamy.' Finn laughs, sinking down to sit next to him. 'You all thinking about it? The fatherhood thing?'

'No. No!' Bellamy almost growled. 

Miller sighed and threw his head back. 'Be nice wouldn't it?' He mused. 'To finally not feel like a kid anymore.' 

'You still feel like a kid?' Bellamy frowns. 'I haven't felt like a kid since I was six.' 

Jasper shook his head. 'I still feel... I don't know. I know we don't look it anymore. We're a bit more organised now and safer but we're still a bunch of kids really.' 

Finn nudges the leader, smiling softly at him. 'You and Clarke are the closest thing we have to adults. And Olivia's almost the age we were when we were dropped own here. When are you two going to...'

'We're not.' He snaps. 'We're not going to.' 

'Why not?' Miller asks. 'I know you're worried about what happened to your sister but...'

'Shut up or I will shut you up!' Bellamy stands, drunkenly swaying as he straightens up. Finn grabs his arm but he shoves him backwards. 'You don't understand it!' 

'What, because I've never loved someone? I've never lost someone?' Miller struggles to his feet, squaring up to the slightly taller man. 'You're right, I've lived such a sheltered life.' 

It looks as if they're about to hit each other, both standing with their fists clenching and jaws tense, but at the last moment Monty pushes them apart and faces jasper, his eyes wide and mostly black with drink. 'I think I'm in love with Harper.' He blurts. 'And I didn't want to tell you but I can't not tell you. I mean if you don't like her...'

'What?' Jasper sits up, holding a hand to his puffy hair. 'You can't be in love with Harper. She's... She's mine!'

'You just said you didn't like her.' 

'I know what I said but you can't!' 

Finn sighs and pushes them all apart, standing in the middle of their unarmed Mexican standoff. 'You guys need to get some sleep. You'll wake the whole camp if you don't. And Bellamy, if people see you like this they'll start to question you.'

'They already question me.' He grumps. 

'Miller, take Jasper with you...'

'No!' Jasper throws his drink down and points a shaking finger at Monty. 'He's the one in love with someone else's woman, he can sleep with Miller.' 

Miller smirks. 'Fine. There's a spare bed at my cabin.' He pushes past Bellamy and stoops to pick up his rifle, slinging it over his shoulder and heading towards his home. 

Bellamy doesn't even pick up his gun, just pushes away from Finn and heads home to Clarke's cabin. His is fine but it's smaller and smells a bit more of damp and gunpowder. He uses it for business and for calming down when they fight but for the most part they've both accepted they live together. He flops in to the bed, burying his head in the lumpy pillows that still smell faintly of her. It could be wishful thinking though, because he can also smell moonshine on himself, and he didn't drink that much, did he?

He rolls on to his back and looks up at the dark ceiling. He wants to get up and undress but he can't, so he kicks off his boots and settles for clutching on to the blanket. He wants to drink some water but again the trek to the jug at the other end of the room is more than he could imagine making right now. He wants to cry. It's a strange feeling that begins in his throat, choking him and making it harder to breath. He had let Clarke go because it was easier than fighting with her. It was easier than explaining himself. She'd gone, had she no idea how that made him feel? Could any of them understand the lack of control, how he was suddenly six again, waiting for the guard to decide to inspect their apartment. Terrified of getting to know anyone in case they might visit at home. He was suddenly told that his sister, who he was supposed to protect, who he had sacrificed so much to keep alive, was dead anyway. She had died and there was nothing he could have done to stop it.

* * *

 

He dreams that Lincoln takes Olivia away. That he stumbles in to camp and explains he's been a prisoner all these years. That there was a good reason he never came to see his daughter. He dreams that he tells her as she leaves that he loves her and he's sorry for being so distant, and such an asshole sometimes. Then his mother tells him she wants another grandchild. She wants seven, and Abby Griffin tells him that if Raven can they have nothing to worry about. A little boy with his eyes and freckles, her hair, tells him to look out of the gate. The grounders kill them all. 

* * *

When he wakes up, his head thumps, but the pleasant tickle of skin on his stomach clears his mind, forces his eyes open. 

'I couldn't sleep.' She says, dragging her lips from his belly button to his hip. 'Someone was in my bed when I got in and he's been snoring ever since.' 

He let his head fall back. 'I said four days Princess.'

'So we're a few hours late.' She reaches up and undoes the buckle, putting her lips back to the edge of the fabric and kissing his skin. 'I thought you'd come looking for us...'

'I shouldn't have let you go.' He moves to stop her but she takes his hands and puts them down by his sides. 'I was...'

'I know.' She smiles and he can hear it, if he can't see it. 'You smell like you've been drinking.' The button is undone with a small pop and he sighs as she pulls at his jeans. 

'I have been. Miller and Monty needed some relationship advice and... And...' He pauses as she pulls at his boxers, hands and lips wiping his next sentence clean from his mind. 

It's a while before they say anything else, not until she's completely naked and tucked against him with her cold feet pressed between his warm ones. 'No one's saying you have to. We don't. I mean think about it, trying to manage everyone and everything is a lot harder now we're... Whatever we're doing.' She swallows, fingers catching around his. 'Imagine if we had a child as well.'

'I can't lose you.' He murmurs in to her hair. 'The death toll is still too high Clarke. For every ten children we lose someone... The grounders and the people with your mother lose someone. It's insane. It's the opposite of our problem up there.' 

'I don't think I could anyway.' She whispers, and he moves to pull her closer. 'It terrifies me. The whole idea of it.' 

'Me too.' He admits, pressing a kiss to her temple. 'But Clarke, I'm sorry about that argument... I shouldn't have let you go all that way alone just because...'

'I wasn't alone.' She hums in to his shoulder. 'And it's fine. I don't actually remember what it was about.' 

He thinks but he can't remember the exact cause really, only the rehashing of all the same points. 'Doesn't matter. You just drive me crazy sometimes. Always have.' He takes a breath and sits up, running a hand over her arm and down across her rib cage. 'But I can't imagine you gone. I need you here.' 

'I know.' She sits up and presses her lips to his, her fingers gently combing through his hair. 'I hate you sometimes Bellamy Blake. But I still can't sleep if you're not there.' 

He runs a hand down her back and stops when he reaches her hip bones. 'I want to say it sometimes.' He admits.

'Why don't you?'

'I don't know. If I do what do I have left?'

She presses her ear to his chest, tapping her finger on his shoulder in time to his heart beat. 'If that's what you're worried about it's probably not true then. I could say it to you, because I don't think I'll lose anything. I think we'll change but for the better. It's a milestone, and not saying it is starting to make me feel sick.' 

He lies back down, holding her and pulling her with him so he ear stays at his chest. 

'So I love you, alright?' She whispers against his skin and his heart jumps under her ear. 

She's almost asleep when he finally swallows and with a shaky voice declares 'Right back at ya princess.' 

 


	7. Hypocritical

Olivia follows as quietly as she could, careful to step over twigs and stones, careful to avoid the loose earth that could give way under her feet. He was a good distance ahead of her, and he hadn't looked back but now, as she reaches a clearing and takes a moment to think, she can't see him. He's gone, and she can't quite remember what direction he was heading in, or which she came in but she knows he's probably twigged on and she braces herself. 

Her hand tightens on her uncle's knife, her muscles tensing as she faces the treeline. Blood pumps in her ears and her heart beats against her ribs but she forces herself to take deep breaths, to focus on the sounds of the forest, of earth. After almost thirty seconds of silence, though it feels like much longer, her arm begins to drop and her breath catch. Perhaps, she thinks, he didn't catch on and she simply lost him. Perhaps she was being a tad too paranoid.

She lowers the knife and he emerges behind her, roaring as he swings his staff through the air. She ducks and turns, bringing her leg to sweep at his and knocking him on to his back. He grabs her arms as she tries to climb over him and forces her back to the ground, breath loud against the dark metal mask he wears. She swallows and slowly reaches up to take it from him, lifting it from the chin and up over his face. His breath falls hot and heavy on her lips and she smiles, watching as he closes his hazel eyes and lowers his forehead to hers. 

'I thought you weren't aloud to leave your village after last time.' She whispers, letting her head fall back against the ground. 

He smirks, opening his eyes. 'Your uncle seems to think I'm a bad influence.' 

She wriggles underneath him and he shifts his weight so not as much is pressing on her. 

'Olivia, what are we doing?' 

She frowns. 'You're training me.' She smirks, moving to sit up and face him, face flushed with pink. 'And you're my friend. I don't care what Bellamy thinks...'

He laughs, standing and offering her his hand. 'I used to be your friend but now I think your using me to get back at your uncle.' 

'He doesn't care, Aaron.' She shoves him, smirking playfully. 'Honestly.'

'Someone should tell him you're the bad influence, because my mother will kill me if she finds out.' 

'She won't kill you.' She laughs. 'She'll say "when are you going to bring that girl here to meet me? She sounds delightful." And you'll say "But nothing's going on! We're just friends!"...'

He raises a dark eyebrow as she blushes again. 'Do you not want to be just friends?' 

'No! I mean yes! That's fine. I don't... I'm not saying anything like that.' She pouts. 'I just... I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it.' She looks down at her feet. 

He hums and turns around taking a deep breath and sighing it back out. 'Well me too.' He turns back to face her. 

He's slender, muscles lining his arms but not bulking them out. He's fast where most are strong, faster than her and she knows he lets her win when they fight, she knows he slows himself down so she can compete. He's almost a year older than her too, but it looks more with the scars on his hands and the one on his chin that loops around to his neck. The shadows under his eyes and the small hairs on his chin. 

He bends to press a kiss to the edge of her lips. It's chaste, nothing too intense and he moves so slowly she could easily pull away, but she doesn't. She closes her eyes and tilts her head towards him, letting him take her hand in his. Her stomach flips as he pulls away, letting her hand drop and staring at her with his features set in something more akin to concern than anything else. His heart is beating so hard she can almost see it on the tight skin above the fabric of his shirt. 

She swallows. 'Do that again.'

He blinks and smiles, shaking his head. 

She pouts, stepping forward and pushing herself as close to him as she can until he stumbles, falling backwards and pulling her down with a thud. She straddles him, hand shaking as it trails up the side of his face. He takes a strand of black hair between his fingers and lets it run through them, smiling as she takes a deep steadying breath. 

'Please.' She asks in a quiet voice, and his smile fades. 

He kisses her again, fully on the lips this time. And both of them are shaking. He's faced wild animals, disgruntled clansmen, and he'd even had a brush with the mountain men when a hunting party had strayed too close to Mount Weather when he was ten and they'd thought them all dead, but this was a different sort of terrifying. This was excitement and worry and a year or two of teen thoughts building up to this kiss and he's not sure he can handle it. 

They pull away, both wearing matching blank expressions. Her mouth falls open and her breath trembles as her hands grip tight to his arms. The panic he had felt evaporates, and he leans down to kiss her again, bolder now, eager, as brave as he has ever been. 

* * *

Clarke sits outside of her cabin, a blanket thrown about her shoulders and cup of hot tea in her hand. She's humming a tune under her breath but for the most part whispering pros and cons, hands tightening around the cup as her breath forms clouds in the air. When she spots Olivia slip around a corner, at fourteen looking every day more and more Octavia than Lincoln, she stops her litany and sighs. The girl dashes towards Raven and Finn's cabin, pausing at the well to wash her face and sip the freezing water. She's not dressed for Autumn nights. She must be freezing.

Clarke's hardly a stealthy opponent, and Olivia tenses long before she reaches her, but she visibly relaxes when she turns and their eyes lock.

'Aaron again?' Clarke asks, smiling as she leans against the well. 

Olivia nods. 'He... We were just training.' She looks away. 

'O, you can tell me.' She soothes, reaching out to take the girl's hand. 

She shakes her head. 'No I can't. I'm fed up of being treated like a child. No one treats him like a child.' She look up, and her eyes are full to the brim with tears. Clarke's smile softens. 'And I like him. I like spending time with him so... So I kissed him but what if... What if he doesn't like me like I like him?'

Clarke frowns. 'Olivia, really.' She shakes her head and cracks a sly smile. 'Have you seen the way that boy looks at you? The way he's been looking at you since you were both twelve?' She runs a hand through her hair and straightens herself up. 'Did he kiss you back?'

Olivia nods, lips turning up at one side. 'But I didn't give him much choice.'

Clarke chuckles. 'You're so much like your mother, O. She would be so proud of you.' 

'Really? Because Bellamy doesn't seem proud...'

'Hah. She drove him mad as well. She used to sneak out to meet your father, and we were at war then. She was fearless.' She looks back towards her cabin and sighs. 'He gave up a lot to protect her, O. He couldn't in the end and he's trying to make up for it now. He's just going about it the wrong way.' 

Olivia sighs, nodding her head. 'I know I know. He just drives me mad.' She stops, eyeing Clarke's stomach with severe eyes. 'Are you... Is that...'

'What?' Clarke frowns, looking down. 

'Have you told him?' 

The colour drains from Clarke's face as she meets the girl's eyes. 'No.' She sighs. 'I don't know what I'm doing yet.' 

'What you're doing?' When Clarke doesn't answer she grins. 'You're going to have to tell him soon. It's starting to show.' 

'I could just be getting fat.' Clarke shrugged. 

'You're not though are you. You know you're not, it's written all over your face.'

Clarke shakes her head. 'No I'm not. Which reminds me, if you're kissing grounders you might want to come and see me tomorrow. We'll talk through some things.' 

'Hypocritical...'

'Go to bed Olivia.' Clarke commands, voice leaving no room for argument. 'I'll talk to you tomorrow.'

'Tell him. He might get that stick out of his ass about me then!' 

'Tell him what?' Bellamy grumbles from the door of his cabin, stretching as he crosses the cold space in just his trousers. His skin bumps at the cold air, and when his hands wrap around Clarke from behind and rest on her stomach her heart stops. He kisses her temple, before turning to his niece over her shoulder. 'That you should be in bed already and we'll have this conversation in the morning?' 

All fight leaves Olivia as she bows her head and nods. 'Sure thing.' She swallows and smirks at Clarke. 'I think he knows.' She faux whispers before heading towards the Reyes-Collins cabin and sneaking inside. 

Clarke sighs and puts her hand over his where they lie on the slightly bulging stomach. 'I could just be fat,' she repeats to him, eyes locking as his thumb starts to rub circles over hers. 

'You could be.' He nods. 'But you're not.' 

'No I'm not.' 

* * *

Abby says she can confirm it a few days later, and for a change Bellamy and Clarke go to them. They take two of the horses, but about half way they start to walk. Half because Clarke's Mare's starting to limp and half because they rarely spend any daylight together unless they're making plans or patching themselves up. It also helps with the fact she's a little desperate in the bedroom department, and if they do lose half an hour to their hormones they're sure her mother won't find out. 

Kane greets Bellamy with all the warmth of a captain, with a firm handshake and a slight smile that never allows itself to become a grin. 'I hear you might be a father soon.' He says conversationally as they walk down the dirt road that leads to the impressive town square. 'Abby's beside herself.' 

'With joy or worry?' Bellamy grunts. 

'Joy. Worse case scenarios are all well and good but you can't assume they're the only possibility son.'

Son. The word makes his hairs stand on end. 

'It's bad timing. Raven's enough to worry about.' 

'She's doing fine. Abby's taking good care of her.' 

'And what about Clarke. If she goes, if we have this extra thing that people can threaten, that we have to care for. We're supposed to take care of everyone and how can we if all we can think about...'

'Blake, listen. It's not about putting anyone first, but no one expects you to put yourselves second. You are a good leader, and there are people here who really begrudge saying that. Leaving you and Clarke in charge is one of the best decisions we made when we came down here. Your village has flourished, you're our greatest defense and you're the first wave of diplomacy.' Kane shakes his head sadly. 'What are you scared of?' 

He bares his teeth. 'Losing everyone.' He sighs. 'My sister, now Clarke. What if there's something wrong with the baby. It doesn't look right... It doesn't breath, the umbilical chord strangles it before it has a chance...'

'What can you do about that? Nothing. What if it's fine. What if it's perfectly healthy and it looks so much like that woman in there you love.' 

He looks at the old man and something in him breaks, a little piece of grim resolve he's been clinging to for years. 'You don't have any children do you sir?' 

Kane shakes his head. 'No. Me and Abby thought... We thought... Unfortunately the years haven't been kind to us.' He laughs. 'Plus, we have so many children already, don't you think.' 

It was a weird dynamic, the way this man talked about all of them, and about Clarke as if he loved her when he'd been there when her father died, he'd almost floated her mother. 

'You're right.I think I'd like a family.' He nods, looking forwards towards the square. 'Is Finn here?' 

'He and Raven are staying at our quarters. I can show you to them if you like.' 

* * *

'Healthy, good size, just tucked up behind the ribs. I'd say four months, maybe five...' Abby shrugs. 'I can't really tell anymore without a better scanner and some god damned electricity.' 

'Hasn't Raven hooked some up?' Clarke sighs. 'I'd kind of like to know.' 

'Why? Worried it might not be Bellamy's?' Her mother teases, trying to turn the monitor screen to show her daughter. 'It's already frowning like him.' 

Clarke shakes her head. 'Worried he won't want it.' 

Abby's smile softens as she takes her daughters hand. 'He will. Look at him or her. Adorable. My first grandchild.' 

'He's been worried about this for years. Since his sister died...'

'Well he's got nothing to worry about Clarke. You're in safe hands, and if anything this stress'll do more harm than it ought so you tell him to suck it up right now. He's great but seriously Clarke, he's got a chip on his shoulder bigger than mount weather.' 

'Always grumping around like the king of bad days.' Clarke agrees. 'Like he has to solve every problem personally.' 

'But he's good with a gun.'

'And he can make a cabin just fine.' Clarke nods. 'And a home, and he loves me I think.'

'You think.'

'He loves me.'

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Raven stretches as she steps out in to the cold morning air. The bones in her neck crack and muscles in her arms pull and twist until she feels almost at least half awake. Her legs, still thin but getting better even if she can't travel miles on them, ache under her weight and it takes a moment for them to settle in to the rhythm of walking towards the well. 

Rare were the days when she woke up before Finn, and rarer still the mornings they weren't both woken by their daughter's screaming or their son jumping on their bed. Ben even knew a few words now (mom, dad, eat, stop, and to Finn's disappointment, 'FUCK!') and was shouting all of them in no particular order as often as he could. On those days she wasn't aloud to take a jaunt outside or even stretch. Finn was very strict on her rehabilitation, to the point she was sure he was hindering it. 

Abby had said as much, had encouraged him to let her walk about and for a few hours he'd managed. But then the baby was born and he'd relapsed, especially once Abby sent them back to their home. Almost five months later and he was no closer to letting up. 

He was undeniably a great father. Finn had never looked so light, his dark circles and soft frown lines erased to nothing whenever he held Ben or his baby sister in his arms. He would tell them stories, tales of great deeds from before the ark had to launch, and of their own people. He'd talk of meeting Raven and the moment he realised he loved her, and then he'll talk about the first few years on earth and the confusion, the uncertainty. 'Stupidly feeling like I should change everything just because I could.' He would say, and she was reasonably sure it was just for her benefit. 

He'd talk about his time with Bellamy, the boy he couldn't stand who suddenly became his only ally. Their understandings of each other and how they shifted. The lessons they taught each other and their final triumph over the mountain men. 'We got your mother back, and everyone else, and I thought she was dead. I thought my heart would burst when I saw her.' 

She smiles and scoops some water in to a tin cup. The whole thing between her and Finn still leaves her a bit woozy. Sometimes she wakes up angry, frustrated with her weak legs and her overzealous carer, and she'll accuse Finn of wishing she was Clarke. Of wishing Ben had blond hair, not brown. Of wishing she was dead even. On those days he looks guilty and gives her space, there as soon as she wants him to be again, with a strange sense for these things. 

'I liked Clarke.' He would say. 'I was in love with her for a while. But I thought you were dead, Raven. I thought you were dead and I could never speak with you, touch you again. I couldn't make up for everything I'd done and seen you smile for me again. Clarke and I are friends, but you and I are perfect.' 

She didn't agree. They weren't perfect. She was rash and hot headed, a bit happier holding a gun or building a bomb than shaking hands with a potential threat but somehow it worked. She liked to tinker, to work in facts and practical applications while he walked in the woods and weaved stories over firelight. She was quick to anger and he was better at calming down, at avoiding the conflict altogether (Though he had learnt over the years it was not always possible). They worked the same way Finn and Bellamy made a good team, somewhere in between them was the perfect leader. Clarke was pretty close actually, always willing to push for peace or draw her gun if she had to. She wasn't as proud as the two men, and could happily be swayed to the other side if she thought she was wrong, that they had a stronger point. 

Probably for the best Bellamy listened to her then, Raven thinks. Their child would be a born leader too, with them two as parents. Both so headstrong and demanding. She and Finn had dabbled in leadership. They'd played at being in charge for afternoons or for diplomatic meetings but they had never really felt the full pressure of the few hundred people that now occupied the village looking to them for answers. She remembered someone had challenged Bellamy once, an upstart from phoenix station, and Clarke and him had won the day out through their blend of reason (Clarke had talked most of his followers down) and strength (Bellamy had knocked him on his ass and dragged him back to the gate after the kid had pulled a knife on him). She and Finn wouldn't have lasted half as long.  

Behind her she heard the wood of the door slip shut and she flinched. It would be Finn, concerned and well meaning but her heart sinks all the same. When he puts his arm around her waist she exhales and sinks in to him. 'I was only going to the well, I didn't want to wake you.' She smiles, breathing in his scent and feeling the tickle of hair on her neck. 

'How are your legs?' He asks, kissing her at the nape of her neck and resting his head on her shoulder. 

She hums contentedly. 'Good. They feel good. Are you going to order me back to bed?' 

'Well the children are sleeping.' 

She laughs. 'That sounds more like a plea.'

He flashes a coy smile and steps backwards, palms in the air. 'Mrs Collins. I realise I've been driving you mad lately, especially since Beth was born. I just want to make sure that you're fine. That you're healthy enough to walk before we try to run. I want you here as long as I can keep you.' 

Her heart softens and she walks to him, hugging him close to her and sighing in to his coat. 'I'm not going anywhere Spacewalker.' She soothes, stepping back and smiling brightly at him. 'Are they really asleep?' 

'Ben's out cold and Bethany just settled back down after being fed. Olivia doesn't wake up until noon anyway.' He nods. 'It's just me and you for a few hours.' 

Another door swings open and a sleepy eyed Jasper limps out on sleep stiff legs. 'Oh you two.' He yawns, reaching past Raven to take some water. 'You're up early.' 

'Could say the same about you, Jordan.' Finn raises an eyebrow. 'Aren't you more of an afternoon guy.'

'Usually.' He nods. 'I can't sleep. I have a strange feeling I need to be up right now though. Like something's about to happen. Like I have to save everyone, or maybe I ate too many berries last night.' He smiles dozily. 'How's the baby?' 

'She's fine.' Raven grins. 'She trying to talk already.'

'I bet she is.' He nods. 'Well let me know if you want me to look after Ben for a bit so you can have some peace and quiet. I know what you married folk are like.' He winks and Raven snorts. 

The door to the nearest cabin to the well opens and a very angry, very pregnant Clarke Griffin steps out, storming towards them all. She jabs a finger at Jasper's chest. 'Your voice is too... Too... Too Jaspery for this time of morning.' She barks. 'For god sake I have to be up in like an hour anyway and I could barely sleep because the baby kept moving but now you're all out here, bright as stars talking as if no one's asleep in a two mile radius...'

'Steady now Princess,' Finn raises his hands again, stepping between her and Raven. 'We're sorry if we woke you. We didn't realise how loud we were being.' 

'Clarke!' Bellamy growls from the doorway, stepping out and rubbing his eyes. 'What are you shouting about?'

'No one cares that my back feels like it's bent in half, that my breasts are sore and I can't eat anything but fish for fear of throwing it up. No one cares!' 

Raven laughs. 'Yes we do. We care. I care after you put up with my rants all day every day about the smell of that purple plant getting to me.'

'It gets to me too!' Clarke sighs, waving her arm towards the trees off past the well. 'Everything down here smells of... Of...'

'Of Earth?' Jasper offers, sipping some more water.

'It just smells!' She whines. 'It smells so strongly. The ark didn't. The ark smelt like nothing. Like the air con and the stuff they used to clean the hallways but here smells like... Like.'

'When does it stop?' Bellamy frowns, looking to Finn. 'When does she stop this?'

'When the baby is born?' The younger man shrugs. 'But honestly give her an hour to wake up and she should be fine. Raven was.' 

'When is the baby coming anyway?' Jasper asks, tipping half the cup back in to the well. 'You look about ready to burst.' 

Clarke frowns at him, her eyebrows pushed hard together above her fierce blue eyes. 'Another month.' She sighs. 'Give or take.' 

'Come back to bed.' Bellamy sighs. 'We've got a few hours before anyone else wakes up.' 

'No.' She pulls her arms away from him and crosses them over her breasts. 'I'm getting some foul smelling air.'

'Someone gets really cranky when she's sleepy.' Raven laughs. 'You're like Bethany but bigger, and blonder.'

Mutely Clarke turns and takes Bellamy's hand, nodding her head towards the cabin. He follows her with a nod and a glare at Jasper as he leaves. 

'If I ever get anyone pregnant. Shoot me.' He looks to Finn and Raven who are both glaring at him as well. 'No offence and all.' 

'None taken.' Finn shakes his head and Raven starts to lead him back to their tent as well, leaving Jasper to stand by the well, blinking at the early morning sunlight.

It's just as well he doesn't move, because it's not five minutes later that Bellamy comes rushing out pulling on his shirt and screaming for someone to get Abby Griffin. 

* * *

The baby is healthy, despite being smaller than either the mother or the grandmother would like. 'He's tiny.' Clarke strokes his head and shifts him from her stomach to her chest as she lies back further down the pillows. 'Should he be this small?'

Bellamy's voice is choked when he speaks. 'I told you, it runs in the family.' He smiles, taking her hand in his and sitting on the bed beside her, his other hand shaking as he rests it on the bundle in her arms. 'He'll get a wicked growth spurt around sixteen though.' 

'Good.' She murmurs, looking up at him with a crooked grin fixed on her face. 'He'll be as strong as you.'

'As smart as you.' He rests his head on her shoulder, staring at the sleeping new born with glazed wide eyes. Despite the shadows under his eyes and the hair on his chin, or the wrinkles that were starting to grow around his mouth and eyes, he looked twenty three again, sitting on a drop ship holding a gun and distantly aware that he's just done something stupid, that he's taken on a massive responsibility and he's not quite sure what he's doing. 

Before she can stop herself, Clarke wraps a hand around some of his hair, smoothing it down over his forehead. 'Do you want to hold him?' She asks softly. 

'Yes... No...' He swallows slowly, looking up at her. 'I'm still terrified he's not real. You're not real.' 

She bends to press her lips to the warmth of his cheek, holding back tears as she holds their son closer to herself. 'We're here. We're fine. You're fine.' 

'We have a son.' He whispers. 'A son, Princess.' 

'I know.' She laughs, and a tear falls down to curl around her chin. 'And he's alive, and he's healthy... I don't know what to do. I don't believe it either.' 

Abby Griffin enters with her head pressed down to some book, mouth twisted in a severe expression that could only mean 'I'm thinking.' She stops at the foot of the bed, looking up with a smile when she finally finishes reading. 'There's my first grandchild.' She smiles, putting the book down and moving around Clarke to take the baby from her. 'Oh you look so much like you're father. Yes you do, you have his eyes. And his hair. But you're a Griffin too, you have Jake's nose and jawline. And your mother's frown...' 

'He looks like Olivia.' Bellamy sits up, keeping Clarke's hand grasped in his. 'When she was born.' And Octavia, he had the same innocence he remembers seeing when his sister was born, when he accepted that he would look after her no matter the cost. 

Abby smiles, looking at her unofficial son in law with warm eyes. 'She's quite excited to meet her cousin.' Abby gestured towards the door. 

'Uh, Abby,' He sits up, looking at her with an apology etched on his features. 'We should have come to see you sooner. We pushed our luck and...'

'Bellamy,' She tilts her head, smiling softly. 'Your son is fine. From what Raven and you have told me the birth went well and I wasn't even needed. Clarke's healthy, he's healthy... Have you chosen a name or...'

'No.' They answer in unison, and Abigail Griffin laughs, handing the baby to his father, who takes him and pushes him into the crook of his elbow. His heart almost bursts through his chest as he looks down. 

'I...' Bellamy clears his throat, looking up at Clarke who's eyes are heavy with fatigue. 'I was thinking we could call him Atom. If you like...'

She closes her eyes and sighs, letting her head fall back again. 'I think that's perfect.' She yawns, letting her hand drop from where it had been resting on his arm. 'But I think Jasper deserves at least a middle name after how fast he moved to get my mother.' 

'Atom Jasper Griffin Blake? That's a lot of names, Princess.'

'A.J.' She slurs, smiling still. 'For Atom and Jasper, and Aurora and Jake.' She opens her crystal clear eyes and leans forward to brush her hand softly against the short black curls on her son's head. 'If you like it...' 

'A.J Blake.' He tests.

'A.J Griffin Blake.' Clarke murmurs. 

'It's fine with me Princess.' 

* * *

It's not long before the A and the Griffin are dropped and Jay Blake is introduced to the others. He bounces on Clarke's knee as she tries to barter a fragile peace between Monroe and some grounder that she allegedly spilled a drink over during a harvest feast. He hangs on to Bellamy's neck as he chews out a boy named Smithy for falling asleep while on duty. He even sits with Bethany and Ben when the chief of the river clan comes to meet them, receiving a small rattle as a gift despite neither Clarke nor Bellamy remembering to inform their allies that they had bred. 

He loves Jasper, and he loves him even more when he's wearing his goggles. He hates Monty in the mornings but once his hair has calmed down and he looks less like he might stab you he's all arms and gargled laughter with him. He's still small. A lot smaller than the Reyes-Collins brood or Monroe and Miller's daughter who was born a few months after him. Something no one, not even Monroe herself saw coming. 

* * *

 

'Should I ask her to marry me now?' Miller frowns, holding his daughter close to his chest as he paces about in front of the medical cabin. 'Because I feel a bit like she deserves it for giving me you.' He whispers to the baby, before looking back to Bellamy. 'But she also deserves to be throttled for not telling me.'

Bellamy shifts his son from one arm to the next and shrugs. 'I thought you two... I don't know, I find it all a bit confusing.'

'How? We're friends, we have sex, and now we have a baby. It's all very simple.'

'Right.' He shrugs. 'Move in with her?'

'Yeah. I never sleep at mine anyway.'

Clarke opens the door quietly, closing it as gently as she could. 'She's sleeping now. She lost some blood but everything's normal. Just in shock. I... I don't think she knew at all.'

'How could she not?' Miller smiled at his daughter. 'She's huge. Aren't you?'

 'It isn't like you two get a lot of time off.' Clarke shrugs. 'And Monroe has been taking the lead on the recon as of late.'

'You're saying we overworked her to the point she didn't realise she was pregnant?' Bellamy shook his head. 

'Go see her.' Clarke smiled, holding the door open for the stunned father to go inside. Once he was gone she took their son, rocking him softly. 

* * *

Bellamy thinks back to the morning, to the ritual of kissing his lover on the top of the head and stroking a finger over his sons cheek before donning his furs and joining Jasper, Miller, Monroe and Finn for their hunting trip.

Hunting trip. More Of a recon mission, exploring a patch of land the lakers reported as being disturbed. No confrontation or even a long stay, just ride to a vantage point, look it over and withdraw to plan. 

'Finn?' He grunts, and to his own ears his voice is barely a whisper. Someone kicks at his shoulder and he almost falls backwards but for the rope at his wrist pulling him forward. His coat is gone, and his arms are prickling in the cold. The bag over his head smells of blood, but it's not his at least. Probably animal, or so he hopes.

Clarke, Olivia, his son and the hint of maybe something he and Clarke have still not confirmed nag At his heart. Finn, Miller, Monroe and Jasper fill his mind. Raven would kill him. Monty would kill him. Lola would grow up without a mother and father. Their home, their village of imperfect cabins and patchwork families had never seemed so important. 

Tie the others to the posts and bring him to me.' A voice boomed, and before Bellamy could stop he was seized and dragged off to the right. 'Lets see who this king of thieves and murderers really is shall we?' 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry Octavia.


End file.
